Child Psychology

11- the Child and His Concept of Allah Swt

Talking about a small child's "initial concept" of Allah, one person was reminiscing his childhood's mis-concept. A member in the family died. His father had an explanation: Someone called Allah took him away. This information created a fear in him of who- ever takes people away. Incidentally whenever he misbehaved in the street while walking along with his mother, she would point out at a police constable if one hap- pened to be in sight and scare him that she would ask the constable to take him away. So during his early childhood he, in his misplaced concept, likened Allah. when mentioned at home, to a man in a khaki uniform.

As Allah is not visible and yet He is often mentioned at home, children form their own independent picture of Him in their mind. It varies from child to child. Such pictures are influenced mostly by what the parents mention about Allah's pleasure and displeasure in the context of a child's misbehaviour and his "sinning" against Him because of the misbehaviour.

Such incidental and cursory introduction of Allah with the depiction of human emotions in Him gives a mis-leading representation of His attributes. For example, the mention of Allah as punishing for a wrong-doing makes a child liken Him to a teacher he knows in the neighbourhood who punishes students in the school. And yet, the mention of Allah being Wise and all the time Alive gives to another child the picture of an old and knowledgeable grandfather who is getting older and older and yet keeps on living.

Polishing or Polluting!

Everyone is born with a natural in-born belief that there exists power and control over himself by his Creator (al imaan bil ghaib - belief in himself by his Creator (al imaan bil ghaib -belief in the Unseen)) and this nagging belief is general for the mankind. The human mind cannot remain blank or shed this belief. He has either to run the path to polishing the belief or run the risk of polluting it. There is no third option. In the case of a child, therefore, under the inspiration of this inborn belief, he senses a thirst for information in order to polish the belief. In the absence of adequate and balanced information, his imaginative mind tries to fill in the gaps and comes up with an incorrect interim concept of his Creator Who he finds often mentioned as Allah in the family. This mis-concept is common with small children.

Therefore, it is an Islamic obligation of the parents to ensure that as the child grows up, his thirst, which often goes unknown to them, is quenched amply with a flow of pure and proper information. The risk of the child drawing information from other doubtful Sources, as an alternative, becomes diminished. He is spared from his belief being tampered with doubts later in his adult life.

Religious Duty.

The parents therefore have a religious duty to ensure that the child is purposefully engaged in the proper learning of correct and balanced concept of Allah as early ''as possible" essentially based on His attributes. The perfect concept of His being and existence is however, beyond human comprehension. The initial childhood picture of Allah as a being with a human physique, image, emotions, needs or limitations must not stay on longer.

And this is only possible when the entire package of His attributes, including those of His benevolence, compassion, forgiveness, generosity and such others are addressed. There therefore develops a balanced concept of Him as the loving and lovable Being, and yet also a reasonably feared One if disobeyed or angered -all in the context of tauhid (absolute onennes). Common God is not Allah.

What is even more important is to impress upon the child that there exists only Allah and there is no god besides Him and that the mention by others, of god or God, who lacks all the combined attributes of Allah is not Allah. And no god other than Allah exists. Therefore, the universally common God worshiped by all others does not exist if he is not Allah.

While it is true that great "thawab" is earned by those parents who are the first to teach their children to recite or read the verse: Bi'simi Laahi Rahman Raheem", its importance is not confined to teaching the recitation of the verse or its translation only. The importance essentially lies also in helping the children to form a correct and balanced Islamic concept of "Allah" mentioned in the verse.

It has to be reiterated that Allah has created Man in the nature of wanting to know Him. Human reasoning, which is attuned to his nature, leads to knowing Him rightly. Therefore, children's ability to reason, when prodded by the parents, to gain the right concept of Allah should not be under-rated.

When the growing child is taught to address his dua (supplication) to Allah, the impact of his faith in the dua is tremendous only if he has also been made to gain the right Islamic concept of Him.

12- The Culture of Talking to Allah swt

If rooted deeply and practiced earnestly during one's lifetime. this culture can make a difference in one's fate in this and the next world. but then it needs to be commenced and cultivated in one's childhood.

It is not common to see a child moved on his own accord to talking to Allah in the form of dua (supplication). .It never dawns upon the children the need to talk to Allah, Their parents make available for them almost all that they need, desire or hope for, They provide a dependable sense of security. When children fall sick they see the parents bring medicine to make them feel well again.

There was however this child who did talk to Allah. No one in the family had asked him to. though. His mother. half crying. was telling his grandmother on the phone that his baby sister with signs of a serious dehydration was to be rushed to the hospital that very moment. The baby was in danger of her life and the family doctor who had just left after examining her would join them after a short while. She ended the conservation hurriedly with a frantic plea to the grandmother for a dua to Allah.

After the parents had left with the baby for the hospital. the child. realising for the first time how helpless and weak his parents can be after all, talked to Allah in a few stuttering words of his language. He felt less anxious after that. He would however not let his parents know about this secret monologue because children do not talk to Allah!.'

What normally the child sees at home as a familiar scene perhaps almost daily is of the parents individually "reciting" what they call "dua" and that too in the language which the child knows as not theirs. He does not know the reason for this recitation in a language not understood except that it is no different from what he sees as Salaat (daily prayers) in regularity. He however, notices the parents also talk to Allah. The parents' apparent secrecy of such talking in low whispers is beyond his comprehension ( Q.7:55)* He thinks that the whole participation in this secretive monologue is for adults only.

Family is the Loser.

Parents may falsely presume that children do understand why parents "recite" dua or address it in low whispers, and that children also understand that their needs are provided because of the blessing of Allah to the parents through duas. They also presume, again falsely, that children's duas to Allah. if they are made to address, produce no results because of their age. By such a presumption the family is the loser. We mortals are poor in the sight of Allah (Q. 35: 15)**. The only thing we own is the means of dua.

Allah has asked us to call upon Him and promised grant of duas. (2: 186; 40:60)*** He is the Best of Promise-keepers. We can expect the pleas of the children to be more readily granted not only because of their innocence (ismat) but also because teaching them to turn to Allah is pleasing to Him.

Street beggars apply the "salesmanship" of taking out their children together to elicit sympathy. We should get our children to join us in expressing our humbleness to our Lord in the form of dua. Let us remember that if the sight of a child sitting in a quiet corner and engaged in imploring Allah in low and shy whispers with small hands raised up together moves the heart of the mother, then it is reported that the love of Allah for His creatures (servants -ibaad) is seventy times of that of the mother for her child.

It Is Simple.

Parents should make the best of the opportunities presented in the form of dua when they have small children in the family to facilitate the dua to be answered sooner. It is simple. When the child eagerly requests for a special thing, not common in his wants, direct him to address a dua to Allah for it, without revealing whether the inten- tion is to buy it for him or not, and then leave him in suspense while he keeps repeating the daily dua before the request is met. The parents should also teach the child to resign to the dua not being granted by making the child to address dua even where the intention is not to comply with his request.

"Dua is a gist of ibaadat (worship)"; "The best prayer (ibaadaV is dua" -Ahaadith of the Holy Prophet. Why not get children to participate in this form of ibaadat, which is simple in performance and convenient in the discretion of time and yet tremendously rewarding.

Parents should experience the thrill on seeing their small child praying to Allah for lots of things, big and small, for them while they strain their ears to catch his words with- out letting him know. for he will have been taught to pray for them also, as for himself, in his own language. So let the child "play" adult in this euphoric role of talking to Allah and the "score" will be real!

"Call on your Lord humbly and secretly..." (7:55) "0' men! you are (fuqaraa) they who stand in need of Allah..." (35: 15). "I answer the prayer of the supplicant when he calls on Me " (2:186). "Call upon Me and I will answer you..." (40:60).