Children in the Qur’an and Sunnah

Chapter 4: The Child’s Duties Towards Elders and Friends

4.1: Initiating with Greeting

461. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “The younger person should greet the elder, the one passing by should greet the one who is sitting, and a small group should greet the large group.”[^1]

462. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “The nearest person to Allah and His Messenger is he who initiates with greeting.”[^2]

463. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “The most obedient of you to Allah is he who initiates greeting his friend.”[^3]

464. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Greeting has seventy rewards, sixty nine of which are for he who initiates the greeting and one is for the responder.”[^4]

.461رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: يُسَلِّمُ الصَّغيرُ عَلَى الكَبيرِ،

.462عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: أولَى النّاسِ بِاللهِ وبِرَسولِهِ مَن

.463عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: أطوَعُكُم للهِ الذي يَبدَأُ صاحِبَهُ

464. الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: لِلسّلامِ سَبعونَ حَسَنَةً؛ تِسعٌ

4.2:Observing Rights

465. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said, in his advice to Muhammad ibn al-Hanafiyah: “O my child! Do not encroach upon the right of your brother because of what is between you and him, because he whose rights you breach is not your brother.”[^5]

466. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “How bad is it for a man, whom his brother recognizes his rights but he does not recognize the rights of his brother.”[^6]

.465الإمام عليّ عليه السلام- في وَصِيَّتِهِ لِابنِهِ مُحَمَّدِ بنِ

466. عنه عليه السلام: ما أقبَحَ بِالرَّجُلِ أن يَعرِفَ أخوهُ حَقَّهُ،

An explanation about a child greeting elders

Based on the traditions mentioned on the manner of raising children, one of the upbringing methods of the Prophet of Allah (s.a.w.) was greeting children. He has explicitly said that by this behaviour he wanted this custom to continue in the society. He (s.a.w.) said: “There are five things which I do not abandon till I die and (one of them) is greeting children so that it can remain a custom after me.”[^7]

However, it can be gathered from the traditions narrated in this chapter that all Muslims should precede each other in greeting, especially it being the duty of the young greeting the elder.

Little contemplation will clarify that these narrations are not in conflict, but they are complementary to each other and it is best to practice all of them.

This means that the duty of every person in the Islamic society is to precede in the greeting, but etiquette requires that the younger greet the older, but if for any reason the younger person delays or hesitates to greet the elder one, the elder has an upbringing duty to greet the younger one and thereby making him understand his shortcomings and faults. This action, especially in respect to children, has a better upbringing effect, and this is why the Prophet of Islam (s.a.w.) used to greet the children in order to attract the attention of his followers to the upbringing effects of honouring the personality of the child and respecting his feelings.

4.3: Taking the Elders as Examples

467. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “The young among you should take example of your elders, and the elders should be affectionate to the young ones. You should not be like the crude men of the Age of Ignorance who neither had the understanding of religion nor did they contemplate about Allah. It is like the egg of a viper that is found in the nest of an ostrich whose breaking is a sin and the little one that comes out of it is harmful.”[^8]

467. الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: لِيَتَأَسَّ صَغيرُكُم بِكَبيرِكُم،

4.4: Fulfilling Needs

468. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “The believers are brethren. They fulfil the needs of each other, and by fulfilling each other’s needs, Allah will fulfil their needs on Judgment Day.”[^9]

469. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Allah will grant all the needs of he who seeks to fulfil the need of his brother.”[^10]

470. al-Kafi, narrating from Safwan al-JammÁl who said: “I was sitting with Abu ‘Abdullah [al-Sadiq] (a.s.) when a man from Mecca named Maymun entered and complained about paying the rent of his animals. The Imam said to me: “Stand up and help your brother.”

So I stood up with him and Allah solved his problem of his rent, then I returned to my place [in the gathering]. Then Abu ‘Abdullah [al-Sadiq] (a.s.) said: “What did you do with the need of your brother?”

I said: “Allah solved it for him, may my parents be your ransom.”

He (a.s.) said: “Indeed helping your Muslim brother is more beloved for me than seven [recommended] circumambulations around the Ka’bah for the first time.”[^11]

.468رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: المُؤمِنونَ إخوَةٌ، يَقضي بَعضُهُم

.469عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن كانَ في حاجَةِ أخيهِ فَإِنَّ اللهَ في

470. الكافي عن صفوان الجمّال: كُنتُ جالِساً مَعَ أبي عَبدِ اللهِ عليه

4.5: Honouring

471. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “He who honours his brother has honoured Allah, and what do you think will be done to one who has honoured Allah?”[^12]

472. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Honour he who loves you and turn away from your enemy and you will attain complete virtue.”[^13]

.471رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن أكرَمَ أخاهُ فَإِنَّما يُكرِمُ

472. عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: أكرِم مَن وَدَّكَ، وَاصفَح عَن عَدُوِّكَ؛

4.6: Assisting

473. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “He who is capable of assisting and does so, Allah will assist him in this world and in the Hereafter.”[^14]

474. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Allah will continue to assist the servant as long as the servant assists his brother.”[^15]

475. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “When friendship grows, helping and cooperation will become incumbent.”[^16]

476. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said: “A believer who fails his brother while he is capable of assisting him will be forsaken by Allah in this world and in the Hereafter.”[^17]

.473رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن نَصَرَ أخاهُ المُسلِمَ وهُوَ

.474عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: اللهُ في عَونِ العَبدِ ما كانَ العَبدُ في

475. الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: إذا نَبَتَ الوُدُّ، وَجَبَ التَّرافُدُ

476. الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: ما مِن مُؤمِنٍ يَخذُلُ أخاهُ وهُوَ

4.7: Sharing

477. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Spend your wealth on paying the rights and share it with your friend, for generosity to a person who does not ask is more fitting.”[^18]

478. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Nothing protects brotherhood as much as equal sharing.”[^19]

479. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Sharing with friends is of nobility of a family.”[^20]

.477الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: ابذِل مالَكَ فِي الحُقوقِ، وواسِ بِهِ

.478عنه عليه السلام: ما حُفِظَتِ الاخُوَّةُ بِمِثلِ المُواساةِ.

479. عنه عليه السلام: إنَّ مُواساةَ الرِّفاقِ مِن كَرَمِ الأَعراقِ.

4.8:Maintaining Friendship

480. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Protect friendship, even though you do not find a protector.”[^21]

481. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Allah, may His name be Exalted, will protect he who protects his friend.”[^22]

.480الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: كُن لِلوُدِّ حافِظا وإن لَم تَجِد

481. عنه عليه السلام: إنَّ اللهَ جَلَّ ذِكرُهُ لَيَحفَظُ مَن يَحفَظُ

4.9: Good Interaction

482. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Meet your brother with a happy face.”[^23]

483. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said: “Whoever says to his brother in faith ‘You are welcome’, Allah the Exalted will write ‘welcome’ for him until Judgment Day.”[^24]

484. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Whenever you meet your brethren, shake hands and show them your happiness, this way you leave each other while your sins have certainly been forgiven.”[^25]

485. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Cheerfulness is a trap for friendship.”[^26]

486. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Indeed Allah hates he who frowns in the faces of his brothers.”[^27]

.482رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: القَ أخاكَ بِوَجهٍ مُنبَسِطٍ.

.483الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: مَن قالَ لِأَخيهِ المُؤمِنِ:

.484الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: إذا لَقيتُم إخوانَكُم فَتَصافَحوا

.485عنه عليه السلام: البَشاشَةُ فَخُّ المَوَدَّةِ.

486. عنه عليه السلام: إنَّ اللهَ‏عزّ وجل يُبغِضُ المُعَبِّسَ في وُجوهِ

4.10: Good Remembrance

487. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “A believer is the brother of a believer. He protects him in his absence and guards his properties for him; and a believer is the mirror of the believer”.[^28]

488. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “A believer is the mirror of his believing brother. When he is absent he wishes good for him, and when he is present he keeps away from him what he dislikes and he makes a place for him in a gathering.”[^29]

489. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said: “Speak about your brother in his absence in the best form, better than what you like to be mentioned about when you are absent from him.”[^30]

487. رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: المُؤمِنُ أخُو المُؤمِنِ؛ حَيثُ

.488عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: المُؤمِنُ مِرآةٌ لِأخيهِ المُؤمِنِ؛

489. الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: اذكُروا أخاكُم إذا غابَ عَنكُم

4.11: Advice and Goodwill

490. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Every one of you should give advice [want good] to their brother the same way that he is for himself.”[^31]

491. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “A believer is the brother of the believer and does not stop advising him at any time.”[^32]

492. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Grant your good will to your friend, your help to your acquaintances, and your good manners to all people.”[^33]

493. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Benevolence will produce love.”[^34]

494. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “It is the nature of a believer to want good for others.”[^35]

.490رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: لِيَنصَحِ الرَّجُلُ مِنكُم أخاهُ

.491عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: المُؤمِنُ أخُو المُؤمِنِ؛ لا يَدَعُ

.492الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: ابذِل لِصَديقِكَ نُصحَكَ، ولِمَعارِفِكَ

.493عنه عليه السلام: النُّصحُ يُثمِرُ المَحَبَّةَ.

.494عنه عليه السلام: المُؤمِنُ غَريزَتُهُ النُّصحُ.

4.12: Presenting the Defect as a Gift

495. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Your best of brothers is he who shows you your defects.”[^36]

496. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “A believer is the mirror of the believer, for he observes him and then fulfils his need and beautifies his character.”[^37]

497. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “The fruit of brotherhood is protecting one in his absence and gifting him his defect.”[^38]

498. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “He who makes your defect manifest for you is your friend.”[^39]

499. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said: “The most beloved of my friends is he who gifts me my defects.”[^40]

.495رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: خَيرُ إخوانِكُم مَن أهدى إلَيكُم

.496الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: المُؤمِنُ مِرآةُ المُؤمِنِ؛ لِأَنَّهُ

.497عنه عليه السلام: ثَمَرَةُ الاخُوَّةِ حِفظُ الغَيبِ، وإهداءُ

.498عنه عليه السلام: مَن أبانَ لَكَ عَيبَكَ فَهُوَ وَدودُكَ.

499. الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: أحَبُّ إخواني إلَيَّ مَن أهدى إلَيَّ

4.13: Ignoring Faults

500. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Be moderate with people, honour scholars and ignore the faults of your brethren; for the Master of the first and the last (s.a.w.) has disciplined you with his saying: “Forgive he who has done injustice to you, keep ties with he who has cut his ties with you, and give to he who has deprived you.”[^41]

501. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Tolerate the fault of your friend for the time your enemy attacks.”[^42]

.500الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: عَلَيكَ بِمُداراةِ النّاسِ، وإكرامِ

.501عنه عليه السلام: احتَمِل زَلَّةَ وَلِيِّكَ لِوَقتِ وَثبَةِ

4.14: Avoidance of Scorning

502. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said: “Do not scorn the faults of he who has come to you with his friendship, and do not hold against him his wrongs that he is ashamed of, for this is not of the morals of the Messenger of Allah or of the morals of his friends.”[^43]

502. الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: لا تَطعَنوا في عُيوبِ مَن أقبَلَ

4.15: Avoiding Hurting Others

503. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “The lowest of people is he who humiliates people.”[^44]

504. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Whoever hurts a believer has hurt me, and whoever hurts me surely has hurt Allah, and whoever hurts Allah is cursed in the Torah, the Gospel, the Psalm and the Qur’an.”[^45]

505. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said, concerning the rights of a neighbour: “When you buy fruit, gift some to him, and if you do not want to do so, carry it [into the house] secretly and do not let your child come outside with it, lest the feelings of his children become hurt.”[^46]

506. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said: “By Allah, the righteous are victorious. Do you know who they are? They are those who do not even hurt a small ant.”[^47]

.503رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: أذَلُّ النّاسِ مَن أهانَ النّاسَ.

.504عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن آذى مُؤمِناً فَقَد آذاني، ومَن آذاني

.505عنه صلى الله عليه وآله- في بَيانِ حُقوقِ الجارِ- إِذَا اشتَريتَ

.506الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: وَاللهِ الأبرارُ، أتَدري مَن هُم؟ هُمُ

[^1]: . Sahih al-Bukhari, vol. 5, p. 2301 h. 5877, narrating from Abu Hurayrah. al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 646, h. 1, narrating from Jarrah al-Mada’ini from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.).

[^2]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 644, h. 3, narrating from al-Sakuni from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.). Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 76, p. 12, h. 50.

[^3]: . Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 9, p. 116, h. 25253, narrating from al-Tabarani from Abu al-Darda’.

[^4]: . Mishkat al-Anwar, p. 346, h. 1106. Tuhaf al-’Uqul, p. 248, narrating from Imam al-Husayn (a.s.). Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 76, p. 11, h. 46.

[^5]: . Kitab Man la Yahdarhu al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 392, h. 5834. Nahj al-Balaghah, letter 31.

[^6]: . Musadiqah al-Ikhwan, p. 144, h. 5, narrating from Marazim.

[^7]: . Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 76, p. 10, h. 38.

[^8]: . Nahj al-Balaghah, Sermon 166. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 34, p. 113, h. 950.

[^9]: . al-Amali, by al-Mufid, p. 150, h. 8, narrating from al-Husayn ibn Zaid. Musadiqah al-Ikhwan, p. 160, h. 5. Both narrating from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) from his father (a.s.).

[^10]: . Sunan Abu Dawud, vol. 4, p. 273, h. 4893. Musnad Ibn Hanbal, vol. 2, p. 400, h. 5650. Both narrating from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar. al-Amali, by al-Tusi, p. 97, h.147, narrating from Muhammad ibn Yahya al-Madani from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.), with ‘his believing Muslim brother’ instead of ‘his brother’.

[^11]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 198, h. 9. Musadiqah al-Ikhwan, p. 176, h. 10.

[^12]: . Thawab al-A’mal, p. 339, narrating from Abu Hurayrah and ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas. ‘Uddah al-Da’i, p. 176, narrating from Imam ‘Ali (a.s.).

[^13]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 2368.

[^14]: . Hilyah al-Awliya’, vol. 3, p. 25. Shu’ab al-Iman, vol. 6, p. 112, h. 7639. Both narrating from ‘Imran ibn Hasin.

[^15]: . Sahih Muslim, vol. 4, p. 2074, h. 38. Sunan al-Tirmidhi, vol. 5, p. 195, h. 2945. Both narrating from Abu Hurayrah. al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 200, h. 5, narrating from Dharih al-Muharibi from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.), with ‘the believer’ instead of ‘the servant’ in both places.

[^16]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 4132.

[^17]: . Thawab al-A’mal, p. 177, h. 1. al-Amali, by al-Saduq, p. 574, h. 785. al-Mahasin, vol. 1, p. 183, h. 296. All narrating from Ibrahim ibn ‘Umar al-Yamani.

[^18]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 2384. ‘Uyun al-Hikam wa al-Mawa’iz, p. 85, h. 2044.

[^19]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 9578. ‘Uyun al-Hikam wa al-Mawa’iz, p. 477, h. 8758.

[^20]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 3405. ‘Uyun al-Hikam wa al-Mawa’iz, p. 143, h. 3193.

[^21]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 7157. ‘Uyun al-Hikam wa al-Mawa’iz, p. 391, h. 6626.

[^22]: . al-Kafi, vol. 8, p. 162, h. 166, narrating from ‘Ubaid ibn Zurarah.

[^23]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 103, h. 3, narrating from Abu Basir from Abu Ja’far [al-Sadiq] (a.s.). Tuhaf al-’Uqul, p. 42. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 74, p. 171, h. 38.

[^24]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 206, h. 2, narrating from Jamil ibn Darraj. Thawab al-A’mal, p.176, h. 1, narrating from Ishaq ibn ‘Ammar.

[^25]: . al-Khisal, p. 633, h. 10, narrating from Abu Basir and Muhammad ibn Muslim from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) from his forefathers (a.s.). Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 76, p. 20, h. 3.

[^26]: . Tuhaf al-’Uqul, p. 202. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 78, p. 38, h. 13.

[^27]: . al-Firdaws, vol. 1, p. 153, h. 555. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 3, p. 441, h. 7350.

[^28]: . Shu’ab al-Iman, vol. 6, p. 113, h. 7644. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 1, p. 152, h. 756, narrating from al-Khara’iti in Makarim al-Akhlaq. Both narrating from al-Muttalib ibn ‘Abdullah ibn Hantab

[^29]: . al-Nawadir, by al-Rawandi, p. 99, h. 56. al-Ja’fariyat, p. 197, narrating from Imam al-Kazim (a.s.) form his forefathers (a.s.). Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 74, p. 233, h.29.

[^30]: . al-Amali, by al-Tusi, p. 225, h. 391, narrating from ‘Ubaidullah ibn ‘Abdullah. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 78, p. 196, h. 17.

[^31]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 208, h. 4. al-Amali, by al-Tusi, p. 231, h. 410. Both narrating from Jabir from Imam al-Baqir (a.s.). Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 74, p. 358, h. 7.

[^32]: . al-Jami’ al-Saghir, vol. 2, p. 662, h. 9156. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 1, p. 142, h. 687. Both narrating from Ibn al-Najjar from Jabir.

[^33]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 2466.

[^34]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 614. ‘Uyun al-Hikam wa al-Mawa’iz, p. 32, h. 558.

[^35]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 1305. ‘Uyun al-Hikam wa al-Mawa’iz, p. 47, h. 1191.

[^36]: . Tanbih al-Khawatir, vol. 2, p. 123.

[^37]: . Tuhaf al-’Uqul, p. 173. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 77, p. 414, h. 38.

[^38]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 4633. ‘Uyun al-Hikam wa al-Mawa’iz, p. 208, h. 4167.

[^39]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 8210. ‘Uyun al-Hikam wa al-Mawa’iz, p. 444, h. 7786.

[^40]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 639, h. 5. Tuhaf al-’Uqul, p. 366.

[^41]: . Tadhkirah al-Khawas, p. 136. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 78, p. 71, h. 34.

[^42]: . al-Irshad, vol. 1, p. 299. Kanz al-Fawa’id, vol. 1, p. 93. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 77, p. 419, h. 40.

[^43]: . al-Kafi, vol. 8, p. 150, h. 132. Tanbih al-Khawatir, vol. 2, p. 146. Both narrating from Mas’adah ibn Sadaqah.

[^44]: . Kitab Man la Yahdarhu al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 396, h. 5840, narrating from Yunus ibn Zabyan. Ma’ani al-Akhbar, p. 195, h. 1, narrating from Abu Hamzah al-Thumali. Both narrating from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) from his forefathers (a.s.). Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 75, p. 142, h. 2.

[^45]: . Mishkat al-Anwar, p. 149, h. 358. Rawdah al-Wa’izin, p. 321. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 67, p. 72, h. 40.

[^46]: . al-Targhib wa al-Tarhib, vol. 3, p. 357, h. 20. Musakkin al-Fu’ad, p. 105. Both narrating from ‘Amr ibn Shu’aib from his father from his grandfather. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 82, p. 94, h. 46.

[^47]: . Tafsir al-Qummi, vol. 2, p. 146, narrating from Hafs ibn Ghiyath. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 2, p. 27, h. 5 and vol. 78, p. 193, h. 7.