Code of Ethics For Muslim Men and Women

Rules Regarding the Gatherings of Men in Wedding Ceremonies

317 – Rule: It is not a problem to clap hands in gatherings of men as long as it is not in the manner of Ghina.

Therefore: If the clapping is in the way of Ghina, then there is a problem, in it. If it is in a irregular way (not a steady beat), and clapping the hands is used as a means of encouraging someone is, then it is not a problem. AGK

Clapping one’s hands in happy occasions and during a speech in order to encourage someone, if it does not reach to the point of being considered as a vain act, then it is not a problem. B

Clapping one’s hands in happy occasions and in the programs to commemorate the birth anniversary of the pure A’immah is not a problem, with the condition that it does not take place in a Masjid or hussainiah. L

In itself, clapping the hands is not haram unless it is accompanied by (another) haram act. T

318 – Question: In the wedding gatherings for men, is it allowed for children to dance while other men clap their hands?

Answer: Children do not have any responsibility (from the Islamic point of view) and as far as the ruling for clapping hands, if it is not done in a manner of Ghina, then it is not a problem. AGKL

Answer: If it does not reach to the level of being considered as a vain act, then it is not a problem. B

Answer: If it does not necessitate a haram act, then it is not a problem. T

319 – Question: What is the ruling for clapping the hands during happy occasions, weddings, and other times? If along with clapping the hands, a metal bowl is used (to bang on) or a tub (made of copper) are also used, then what is the ruling?

Answer: It is not a problem. L

320 – Question: What is the ruling for clapping the hands during happy occasions and speeches?

Answer: If the clapping of the hands is in order to encourage the person in something that the Islamic law permits, then apparently, it is permitted. A

Therefore: It is not permitted to clap one’s hands for men who are dancing, or to clap one’s hands (in praise of) jugglers, or to encourage someone who is performing vain and trivial acts, even if the hand clapping is not in a rhythmical form.

321 – Rule: It is not allowed for the bride or other non-Mahram women to go to the men’s side of the gathering, unless they (the women) have proper hijab on. ABGKLMST

Therefore: If the women have any zinat on their face and hands, then they must cover this too from the non-Mahram men, but it is still better that they refrain from entering the men’s gatherings.

322 – Rule: If the groom knows that in the event that he goes into a gathering of women, he will look at non-Mahram women who have beautified themselves, then he must not go into that gathering, even if his looking is not with the intention of lust or gaining (sexual) pleasure. ABGKLMST

Therefore: It is haram for the groom to enter a women’s gathering even if it may be for just one minute – such as to have a photograph taken or to put the ring on, etc… in the event that he will be forced to look at non-Mahram women who have beautified themselves. However, if the women completely cover themselves and the groom will be able to refrain from looking at them, only then is it not a problem.

323 – Rule: It is not allowed for non-Mahram men to look at the bride if she does not have proper covering on or if she has any zinat on her face and hands. ABKLMT

Therefore: To look at the bride, even if it is without the intention of lust, is not allowed, even if it may be just to congratulate her, bid her farewell or…

According to Ihtiyat Wajib, it is not allowed for non-Mahram men to look at so much as the face and hands of non-Mahram women, whether they have zinat on or not. G

If the women believe in upholding the hijab and if they were told to observe their hijab they would comply, then it is not allowed to go to that gathering of, and in all other instances, it is not a problem as long as one does not look at them with the intention of lust or to gain (sexual) pleasure. S

324 – Rule: It is haram for men and women to inter-mingle in wedding ceremonies if it involves looking at the bride or other women, in the event that they do not have the proper covering, or have zinat on, and thus one must refrain from these types of gatherings. ABGKLMST

325– Rule: According to Ihtiyat Wajib, it is not allowed to shave the beard off or to trim it in such a way that it can no longer be visible. In this ruling, all men are the same and there is no difference in the ruling if the men are being made fun of, or what kind of atmosphere surrounds them – the rule does not alter. Therefore, to shave off the beard for one who has just become baligh, or if he does not shave off his beard other people will make fun of him, or it is his wedding night, etc… if he shaves off his beard or even trims it in such a way that it is said he has shaved off his beard, then according to Ihtiyat Wajib, it is not permitted. KLT

It is haram to shave off the beard in all circumstances. AG

It is not allowed to shave the hair on one’s face (for men). B

According to Ihtiyat Wajib, it is haram to shave the beard; unless if by one not shaving his beard, it will cause him difficulty, for example, people will make fun of him or will mock him (to such an extent that he can not stand to bear it), then in these circumstances, it is not a problem to shave the beard. S

326 – Rule: Shaving off a part of the beard has the same ruling as shaving off the entire beard. BK

Therefore: According to Ihtiyat Wajib, men are not allowed to shave off a part of their beard, except an amount which is just to even it out.

If one trims the beard to a very small amount in order to even it out, then it is not a problem, for example the amount of the beard around the nose or near the eyes (one is allowed to trim), but in other than this instance, it is haram. AGL

327 – Question: Is it permitted to shave the hair that is under the chin (neck) or that which is on the top of the cheeks?

Answer: If it is in an amount that would not be considered as shaving, rather it would be considered as trimming the beard, then it is not a problem. ABGKT

328 – Question: What is the amount of the beard (that one must keep) and what amount must it not be less than?

Answer: Such an amount is sufficient that the general people say that one has a beard. ABGKLMT

329 – Rule: It is not a problem to shave off the mustache. ABGKLMST

330 – Question: Would the job of being a barber who has to shave off the beards of others be considered as haram?

Answer: It is haram to shave off the beard and whatever money a barber receives for this is also haram. G

Answer: According to Ihtiyat Wajib, it is not permitted. L

Answer: In the event that shaving the beard is, according to Ihtiyat Wajib not permitted, then taking money for shaving the beard too is, according to Ihtiyat Wajib, not permitted. S

331 – Question: In wedding ceremonies, there is a type of game (in Iran) commonly known as “Playing with Sticks” in which two people sit across from one another and, with whatever strength they have, they hit the feet of the other one (with the sticks) – and many people end up breaking the other’s foot. What is the ruling for such a game?

Answer: This type of game falls in the category of vain and futile acts and is haram. G

332 – Question: My job entails me to work with dirt and dust and so I am compelled to shave off my beard since if I do not shave it, then the dirt and dust will gather in it. Is my profession haram?

Answer: It is haram to shave off the beard according to Ihtiyat, and the excuse mentioned above does not make it permissible, and in this ruling you are no different than others. KL

333 – Question: What is the view on playing with the instruments of gambling such as dominoes, cards or other instruments used in gambling, in the event that the intention is not to win or lose and (the intention) is only to play ?

Answer: It is not permissible. GKLT

Answer: It is not improbable that it would enter into the ruling of vain acts and therefore, according to Ihtiyat, one must avoid it. A

Answer: According to Ihtiyat, one must avoid it, and regarding chess, the Ihtiyat is even stronger. B

Answer: Cards and chess are haram according to the stronger view and in the other scenarios, according to Ihtiyat Wajib, it is not permissible. S

334– Question: What is Islam’s view on the groom wearing a necktie?

Answer: The necktie is something this is related to Christians and is one of their signs, thus it is better than Muslims refrain from wearing it, although among the Muslims, it is no longer taken as a sign (for the Christians). L

Answer 1: The necktie is of the signs of the Christians, but unfortunately, it has become common among the Muslims. G

Answer 2: The necktie is one of the signs of the Christians and in is incumbent on Muslims to refrain from wearing it. G

Rules Relating to Women’s Wedding Ceremonies

334 – Rule: It is not a problem for women to clap their hands in wedding ceremonies. AKT

It is not a problem to clap the hands in joyous gatherings, or if someone is speaking in order to encourage them, as long as it does not reach to the point of being considered as vain or futile. B

It is not a problem to clap ones hands in joyous gatherings, or, in the birth anniversaries of the A’immah, peace be upon all of them, with the condition that it is not in a Masjid or a hussainiah. L

335 – Question: What is the rule regarding children dancing in wedding ceremonies and women clapping their hands?

Answer: Children do not have any responsibility (from the Islamic point of view), and (als0) it is not a problem for women to clap their hands in wedding ceremonies. GKL

Answer: Children do not have any responsibility (from the Islamic point of view) and it is not a problem to clap the hands in gatherings if it is not in a manner of Ghina. A

Answer: If it does not reach to the level of being considered as vain and futile, then it is not a problem. B

Answer: If it is not associated with a haram act, then it is not a problem. T

336 – Rule: It is not permitted to stay in a wedding ceremony in which there are vain and futile acts taking place. AGKL

If refraining from vain and futile acts means leaving a gathering, then it is not allowed to stay there (thus, one must leave). B

Therefore: If a woman sees that in a wedding ceremony other women are dancing, or women are inter-mingling with non-Mahram men, or that others are performing entertaining music in front of men; then, first the woman must try to prevent them (from these acts), and in the event that it has no effect on them, then she must leave from there.

337 – Question: Is it allowed to be present in wedding ceremonies in which there are musical instruments, drums, dancing or singing going on, if it is a wedding of someone in the family, or we are obliged to go?

Answer: It is haram to take part in gatherings in which there are vain and futile things going on just because it is a relative’s wedding does not make it permissible. AGKL

338 – Question: What is the ruling on using a tambourine in wedding ceremonies?

Answer: It is problematic. AGK

339 – Rule: The usage of any kind of (cassette) tape with entertaining music at women’s gatherings is not allowed, and one must refrain from it. ABGKLMST

340 – Rule: If a groom is present (in a women’s gathering), it is no exception and therefore, non-Mahram women must observe proper hijab in front of him. ABGKLMST

Therefore: If a groom enters a gathering of women, then the women who have zinat on their face or hands must cover their entire body, including the face and hands from him, even if the groom only comes in for only a few minutes such as to put the ring on, have a photograph taken or for any other reason. In any case, it is better to avoid having any non-Mahram men enter into a gathering of women.

341 – Question: Is it allowed for me - a Muslim women - to sit in a gathering in which my son-in-law is present, but there are also other women sitting there who are not observing hijab?

Answer: If you are able to prevent them from sinning (then you can be there), and if you are not able to, then you should not attend their gatherings of sin. G

342 – Question: Is it permissible to listen to certain kinds of music with the intention that listening to them is not for vain and entertaining purposes? For example, music that is said to be good to calm the nerves or music that some doctors recommend as a cure, or that form of music which has been composed for wars – in which the aim and purpose of them is not for vain acts?

Answer: It is haram to listen to any kind of sound that the general public would consider as music. G

343 – Rule: It is not allowed for a woman to adorn or beautify herself with the intention of having non-Mahram men look at her. ABGKLMST

344 – Question: What is the ruling for a hairdresser or a beautician who beautifies and adorns other women, when the beautician knows that the women will show (themselves) to non-Mahram men?

Answer: If a beautician beautifies the women with the intention of having them showing it off to non-Mahram men, then it is as if she is assisting her in her sin, and it is haram; however, if she has knowledge of it, without the intention, then it is not a problem. AGK

Answer: If a beautician beautifies the women with the intention of having them show it off to non-Mahram men, then it is definitely haram; but if she has knowledge of it, without the intention, then according to Ihtiyat, she should still refrain from it. B

345 – Rule: A non-Mahram man must not take the photograph or video of the bride and groom or any other non-Mahram women, even if they are his close relatives (if the women are not observing their proper hijab). ABGKLMST

346 – Rule: It is not allowed to have a video or photograph taken with the groom or other non-Mahram in the event that the women are not observing their proper hijab. AGK

347 – Rule: If a woman knows that in the event that she has a photograph taken without her hijab on, it will be shown to others in the family and non-Mahram also will see it, then it is not allowed for her to have the photograph taken without her hijab on. GK

Therefore: If the bride knows that in the event that she has a photograph taken without her proper hijab on, a family member who is her non-Mahram will see it, then she must not have the photograph taken, and it does not matter if the photographer is a woman or a Mahram man.

348 – Question: I would like to say that it is known that in wedding ceremonies, normally the photographs or video is taken by a woman, but when exposing the film or other things related to this, it is possible that a non-Mahram man may also see them. What is your opinion on this, noting that the bride has make-up on and is not wearing the hijab?

Answer: If the non-Mahram does not look at the photographs with the intention of lust and fear of falling into sin, then it is not a problem, if he knows the person who is in the photo or video. A

Answer: In the event that the non-Mahram man knows her, then it is not permitted to see them (photos or film). In other than this instance, if it is not with the intention of lust or deriving sexual pleasure, then it is not a problem. LKT

Answer: If the photo of the bride is in a place where her non-Mahram can see it, then this is one example of spreading corruption, and thus it is not allowed. G

Answer: In the event that the woman believes in upholding the Islamic hijab then it is a problem for the non-Mahram to look at a video or photo of her even if he does not know her and no corruption will be caused by looking at her. M

Therefore: (There are two scenarios) either the non-Mahram man knows the woman or he does not know her. In the event that he does not know her, then it is not a problem to look at her video or photo as long as it is not with the intention of deriving sexual pleasure; but if he knows her and if she believes in upholding the Islamic hijab, then it is not permitted to look at her film or photo if she is not wearing sufficient clothing. If she does not believe in upholding the Islamic hijab, then even if the man knows her, it is not a problem to look at her photo or film as long as it is without the intention of lust or deriving sexual pleasure.

Answer: If the women are not of those women who do not properly wear the hijab or who do not wear the hijab at all and if they were commanded to wear the hijab, they would not listen – then if she is a Muslim or otherwise and the man knows her, according to Ihtiyat Wajib, he must not look at her photo or film. In other than this instance, it is not a problem to look (at it) without the intention of lust or deriving sexual pleasure. S

Therefore: If a non-Mahram (man) does not know the women, or the women are among those who either do not properly wear the hijab or do not wear the hijab at all, then it is not a problem to look at their photo or film without the intention of lust or deriving sexual pleasure.

Miscellaneous Rules

349 – Question: What is the ruling for a woman who beautifies herself for other than her husband in various gatherings specifically for women - such as weddings or dinner invitations where there are only women present? In the event that it goes against the pleasure of the husband, what is the ruling?

Answer: In the event that no non-Mahram men see her, then it is not a problem, however she should try to obtain the pleasure and approval of her husband. ABGKLMST

350 – Question: In order to take part in a specific type of gathering, a woman has to wear a certain style of clothing which her husband is not happy with; but by not wearing it, she will not be dishonored and in the event that she wears that clothing, it will result in the family being upset and may cause conflict (between them). From the Islamic point of view, what is the ruling for wearing (this clothing) – is it allowed or not?

Answer: If by wearing this clothing, it causes conflict and (will lead to) corruption, then she must refrain from wearing it. The husband also must not stop her from wearing a type of clothing that is commonly worn by her peers. AGKL

351 – Rule: The houses of Muslims must be respected and it is not permitted to enter them without the permission of the owner; in fact, it is not even allowed to look into someone else’s house from the roof, a crack in the wall, or through the door. AGK

352 – Rule: If someone looks into the house of another person with the intention of looking at something that is haram for him (for example, looking at the women or daughters in that house), then the owner of that house can, in fact, it is Wajib for him to refrain and stop him from this action. If the person does not refrain from this (looking into the house), then one can stop him by force, such as by hitting him or something similar to this.

Therefore: One must pay close attention to the fact that it is not permissible to look into the house of others, with the intention of looking at non-Mahram - whether this looking is done from on top of the roof, from the patio, window, from a crack on the side of the door or window. Therefore, it is necessary that if, God forbid, one does such an act, he is prohibited (from doing it again), and if he continues to do such, then one is permitted to hit him or do something else to prevent him (from continuing it).

353 – Rule: If a person is looking into the house of someone else such that it is not possible to see the people of that house, but from far away, with the aide of modern devices (such as binoculars) he can see them, then his ruling is the same as the person who is looking (at the people) from close. Therefore, he must be prevented (from looking) in the same order as was mentioned previously.

354 – Question: Is it permitted to just keep certain things in one’s house without using them – such as cards, movies which are not permitted to watch, of a container that has alcohol in it?

Answer: It is wajib to get rid of gambling instruments and things that like this and to not do this (get rid of them) is a major sin. K

355 – Question: Is it allowed for a mother or father to hit their child without any reason simply due to being angry or not having patience, or is it a violation of haqq-un-Nas (The rights of another person)?

Answer: It is not allowed, however, it is permitted in order to teach him manners as long as it does not exceed the limits such that the skin color becomes red, black or purple-blue in color (due to hitting the child). AKT

Answer: In the event that the hitting is limited to teaching him manners, it is not a problem, but one must make sure that it does not reach to the level of having to pay the blood money. L

356 – Question: What is the ruling if a maternal or paternal aunt, maternal or paternal uncle, brother or sister hit the child?

Answer: It is not allowed, except with the permission of the guardian of the child, and that too if it is for improving the manners of the child. AGK

Answer: If one has the permission of the guardian and if the child has done something very bad, then it is not a problem to hit him five or six times as long as the conditions in the previous ruling are met. T

357 – Question: In order to teach the child manners, is it permitted that instead of hitting him, one performs something else such as to lock him in a dark room, place him in an enclosed room where he is alone, or to scare him with a frightening voice, with the condition that these are done to teach him manners?

Answer: If it does not cause the child any harm, then it is not a problem, however, one must be very cautious if locking the child in a dark room or scaring him with a frightening voice. T

358 – Question: Can a mother or father, as a means of upbringing the child, to command their son or daughter to perform tasks such as vacuuming the house, doing the laundry, going to buy groceries and other things such as this, without paying them anything?

Answer: It is not a problem. G

359 – Question: A girl who is mature and intelligent wants to marry a practicing, religious, young Muslim boy, but her father does not give her the permission due to reasons related to the boy’s material status – can the girl marry him without the permission of her father or not?

Answer: In the event that the father refuses a religious and known match (for his daughter), then his pleasure and permission become invalid, and thus is not needed. A

Answer: The permission of the father in the marriage of a virgin girl is a condition; except in the instance that he refuses a suitable match and the daughter is in need of getting married, and she fears that if she turns away from this marriage, she will not find a suitable husband. K

Answer: If the girl is a virgin and her father or grandfather do not give her permission to marry a man who the common people and the religion would consider as her equal, or they are not ready to take part in the wedding of the girl, or she has no family members to give her permission (for the wedding) due to insanity or the like, then in these instances, it is not necessary to get their permission. S

The same rule applies if it is not possible to get their permission because they are not there or for some other reason it is not possible to get their permission and the girl really needs to get married, then the permission of her father or grandfather is not becomes unnecessary.

Question: My father has left us and does not pay any attention to us, and sometimes a period of time passes in which we do not hear from him. As for the issue of marriage, is it still necessary to get his permission or not?

Answer: All in all, in the event that the guardian of a daughter cuts off all connections with her or leaves her free and does not interfere in her affairs, then it is not necessary to have his permission; but also, as long as the girl is mature and intellectually mature such that she can determine her own affairs in relation to marriage, then she is allowed to get married (without his permission). L

Answer: A girl who has reached the age of maturity and intellectually mature - meaning that she can determine her own affairs, then in the event that she is a virgin, according to Ihtiyat, she must have the permission of her father or grandfather to get married. However, if a suitable match is found (for her) but her father opposed (the marriage) then his permission is not a condition (it is not needed). Similar is the case if the father or the grandfather are not present and the daughter is in need of getting married. M

Notes:

[^8] This is a form of Istikh?ra as explained in Maf?t¢¦ al-Jin?n, page 1074 (as printed by Uswah Publications, Qum, Iran, 2000) using papers (cards).