Chapter 4 : Rules Related To Socializing

بسم الله الرّحمن الرّحيم

أَلَمْ تَرَ أَنَّ اللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ مَا يَكُونُ مِن نَّجْوَى ثَلاًثَةٍ إلاَّ هُوَ رَابِعُهُمْ وَلاَ خَمْسَةٍ إِلاَّ هُوَ سَادِسُهُمْ وَلاَ أَدْنَى مِن ذَلِكَ وَلاَ أَكْثَرَ إِلاَّ هُوَ مَعَهُمْ أَيْنَ مَا كَانُوا ثُمَّ يُنَبِّئُهُم بِمَا عَمِلُوا يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ .

“Do you not see that Allah knows whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth? Nowhere is there a secret counsel between three persons but He is the fourth of them, nor (between) five but He is the sixth of them, nor less than that nor more but He is with them where ever they are; then He will inform them of what they did on the day of resurrection: surely Allah is Aware of all things.”

al-Qur’an · Surah Mujadilah · Ayah 7

Rules Related to Speaking Men Speaking to Non-Mahram Women

172 – Rule: Men are allowed to speak to non-Mahram women as long as the following two conditions are met:

  1. It is not with the intention of lust.

  2. The speaking does not lead either one of them to commit a sin. BGKLMS

173 – Rule: It is Makruh to speak to non-Mahram women, unless it is in the case of a necessity, especially if the one being spoken to is a young woman. GKLM

174 – Rule: If a man knows that by speaking to a non-Mahram woman, he will fall into sin, then he must not speak to her; whether the woman speaks in such a way that she lures him into sin, or the topic is such that the man falls into sin. BGKLMS

175 – Rule: It is haram for a man to speak to a non-Mahram woman with the intention of making her fall into sin. ABGKS

Therefore: The conversations that are carried out with the intention of making others fall into sin (lustful conversations), such as explaining or describing sexual acts and scenes, are haram.

176 – Question: Is it allowed for a man to talk to a non-Mahram woman who wants to speak to him in a lustful manner? (In the event that the man knows that he will not fall into a sin?)

Answer: It is not allowed. GK

Answer: In the event that it helps or leads to a haram act, it must be avoided. B

177 – Rule: If a man fears that by speaking to a non-Mahram woman, she will make him fall into sin, then he must not speak to her. GKLM

178 – Rule: If a man knows that by speaking to a non-Mahram woman he will fall into sin other than that of a sexual nature, then it is not allowed for him to speak to her. BGKLMS

Therefore: If a man knows that by talking to a non-Mahram woman, he will be compelled to lie, backbite, or put a false accusation on somebody - whether she makes him fall into sin, or he himself by means of talking to her falls into a sin, then it is not allowed to talk to her.

179 – Question: If one fears that by talking to a certain non-Mahram woman he will fall into sin, then is it allowed for him to talk to her?

Answer: It is not allowed. G

180 – Question: What is the ruling for a man to talk in such a way in that he imitates a woman’s voice, or vice versa?

Answer: It is not a problem if: it is not the voice of a specific woman whom he knows and this causes her degradation or dishonor; and this action of imitation does not stimulate him and it is not something vain and futile, and the same applies the other way around (a woman imitating the voice of a man). G

181 – Rule: It is not allowed to talk to someone about anything that is related to sexual or intimate issues (except one’s spouse). AGKLMS

Note and warning: Sometimes, it can be seen that in the hearts of men, the devil has become so firm that many of their social gatherings are doubtful, and it can be seen that a man has more interest in mingling with non-Mahram women than with his own Maharim. For example, there is a situation in which he can ask something from a man, but instead, he asks a non-Mahram woman; sometimes his conversation with non-Mahram women is prolonged so as to be able to talk with them more; going to places of amusement and on vacations with non-Mahram women is more attracting to him; if there is a place where there are non-Mahram women, he desires to be there more than other places; and when guests come over, he tries to talk and socialize more with the non-Mahram women than the men. He likes to stay in the presence of non-Mahram women more so than anywhere else. In summary, he likes any action that non-Mahram women are participating in more than any other work.

Men - especially our dear youth must stay away from these types of things because this kind of socializing and speaking (with members of the opposite sex) are usually associated with the intention of lust and obtaining (sexual) pleasure and can lead to being haram, according to Islam.

*Women Talking to Non-Mahram Men * 182 – Rule: Women are permitted to speak to non-Mahram men if the following conditions are met:

  1. The speaking is not done with the intention of lust and seeking (sexual) pleasure.
  2. The woman does not make her voice soft and attractive.
  3. There is no fear of falling into corruption. GKLMS

183 – Rule: It is Makruh for women to speak to men if it is not necessary. GKLM

184 – Rule: It is not allowed for a woman to speak to a non-Mahram man with the intention of making him fall into sin; whether she specifies that the reason she is talking to him is to make him fall into sin, or she talks about something that would make the non-Mahram man fall into a sin - such as explaining stimulating and sensual scenes, or explaining about things that would make the non-Mahram man become aroused upon hearing them. ABGKLMS

Note: Just as was mentioned concerning men, sometimes it is possible that women also become under the influence and tricks of the devil. Thus, sometimes a woman will be so friendly to a non-Mahram man as if it is her brother. Especially those women who are in more contact with non-Mahram men more than others, such as nurses, or those women who works in various businesses and companies, in sports and fitness clubs, etc… must be extra cautious (when dealing with non-Mahram men).

Asking help from non-Mahram men for things that are not necessary; asking non-Mahram men questions while it is possible to ask a Mahram the same question; having discussions with men and putting one’s self between a discussion; exposing one’s talents or virtues to a non-Mahram and socializing with non-Mahram men more; having more of an affection to work in an environment in which there are non-Mahram men – in summary, all examples such as these in which there is a probability of falling into sin, and interactions in such places which are commonly done with the intention of deriving (sexual) pleasure, can lead to being be haram, according to the Laws of Islam.

185 – Rule: When a woman is speaking to a man, she must not make her voice pleasing and soft, such that if the person with whom she is talking to has a sickness in his heart, he will become attracted to her, even if she is talking to him about a general matter. AGKLMS

186 – Question: Is a woman allowed to speak to a non-Mahram man who wants to talk with her in a lustful manner? (In the event that the woman knows that she will not fall into sin?)

Answer: It is not allowed. G

187 – Question: Is it allowed for women to recite in a chorus in the presence of non-Mahram men? What is the ruling for non-Mahram men to hear such a thing?

Answer: If it leads to corruption, then it is not allowed. Rather, normally, when women are singing or reciting in the presence of men and men are listening to it, this leads to corruption and thus, it is not allowed. B

Answer: As long as there is no intention of lust or corruption involved, then women singing in a chorus and non-Mahram men listening to them, is not a problem. L

188 – Question: Is it allowed for a man to listen to a woman singing alone, if it does not lead to (sexual) excitement?

Answer: It is not allowed. L

Answer: If it leads to corruption, then it is not allowed. Rather, normally, when women are singing or reciting in the presence of men and men are listening to it, this leads to corruption, and thus, it is not allowed. B

189 – Question: What is the ruling on listening to poems (read) with emotion and feeling that the radio stations of the Islamic Republic of Iran broadcast?

Answer: If it leads to corruption, then it is not allowed. B

Answer: If it is not in the category of Ghina and it is not stimulating, then it is not a problem. L

190 – Rule: It is not a problem for women to recite Qur’an in front of non-Mahram men, even if it is in a pleasing voice, with the condition that it is not arousing nor does it cause corruption. KL

If it leads to corruption, then it is not permitted; rather, most often, women reading (Qur’an) in the presence of men and men listening to such a thing leads to corruption and thus, it is not allowed. B

Women and girls must not recite the Qur’an in a tone in the presence of non-Mahram men, and similarly, if a man is reciting in a way that a woman gets enjoyment (of a lustful type), then it is a problem. G

191 – Question: Is it allowed to read romance novels in which sexual issues are being discussed? Also, is it allowed to print such books?

Answer: It is not allowed. G

192 – Question: What is the ruling for writing letters to non-Mahram men and discussing romantic or lustful things in the letter?

Answer: One must refrain from all things that may lead to corruption. A

Answer: It is not allowed. G