Ghurar Al-Hikam Wa Durar Al-Kalim, Exalted Aphorisms And Pearls Of Speech

Social Interaction And Mingling

Social Interaction and mingling-العشرة والخلطه

1. ocial interaction with people of merits is enlivening for the hearts.

1ـ مُعاشَرَةُ ذَوِي الفَضائِلِ حَياةُ القُلُوبِ.

2. Let not your family or those whom you love be the most miserable of people because of you.

2ـ لايَكُنْ أهْلُكَ وذُو وُدِّكَ (ذُوُوكَ)أشْقَى النّاسِ بِكَ.

3. Do not alienate a person whose separation will harm you.

3ـ لاتُوحِشَنَّ امْرَءً يَسُوءُكَ فِراقُهُ.

4. The one who mingles with people is afflicted by the evil associate and the hypocrisy of the enemy.

4ـ يُبْتَلى مُخالِطُ النّاسِ بِقَرينِ السُّوءِ، ومداجاةِ العَدُوِّ.

5. Preserve [the respect of others] and your respect will be preserved.

5ـ أبْقِ يُبْقَ عَلَيْكَ.

6. Mix sternness with gentleness, and be gentle as long as gentleness is more befitting.

6ـ اِخْلِطِ الشِدَّةَ بِرِفْق، وارْفُقْ ما كانَ الرِّفْقُ أوْفَقَ.

7. Imbibe your heart with mercy for all the people and kindness towards them, and do not oppress them or be [like] a sword over them.

7ـ أَشْعِرْ قَلْبَكَ الرَّحْمَةَ لَجَميعِ النّاسِ والإحْسانِ

8. Remember you brother who is absent in the same way that which you would like him to remember you [in your absence] and keep away from what he dislikes; and disregard from him that which you would like him to disregard from you.

8 ـ أُذْكُرْ أخاكَ إذا غابَ بِالَّذي تُحِبُّ أنْ يَذْكُرَكَ بِهِ

9. Loathe from yourself what you loathe from others and like for people what you like for yourself.

9ـ إسْتَقْبِـحْ مِنْ نَفْسِكَ ما تَسْتَقْبِحُهُ مِنْ غَيْرِكَ، وارْضَ

10. Reduced mingling preserves religion and relieves one from having to associate with wicked people.

10ـ قِلَّةُ الخُلْطَةِ تَصُونُ الدّينَ، وتُريحُ مِنْ مُقارَنَةِ

11. Be equitable to people over yourself, your family, your near ones and those from whom you desire something, and be just with both enemy and friend.

11ـ أنْصِفِ النّاسَ مِنْ نَفْسِكَ، وأهْلِكَ، وَخاصَّتِكَ، ومَنْ لَكَ

12. Be friendly with the one who is friendly with you, accept the excuse of the one who seeks your pardon and do good to the one who wrongs you.

12ـ أجْمِلْ إدْلالَ مَنْ أدَلَّ عَلَيْكَ، واقْبَلْ عُذْرَ مَنِ

13. Guard well the sanctities [of such things that are sacrosanct] and draw near to the people of magnanimity, for indeed guarding the sanctities [and boundaries] demonstrates an honourable character and drawing near to the magnanimous indicates nobility of purpose.

13ـ أحْسِن رِعايَةَ الحُرُماتِ، وأقْبِلْ عَلى أهْلِ المُرُوءاتِ،

14. Be merciful to the one who is under you and the one who is above you will be merciful to you; compare his forgetfulness with your forgetfulness and his disobedience with your disobedience to you Lord, and his need of your mercy to your need of the mercy of your Lord.

14ـ اِرْحَمْ مَنْ دُونَكَ يَرْحَمْكَ مَنْ فَوْقَكَ وَقِسْ سَهْوَهُ

15. Cling to the people of virtue and piety, and request them not compliment you, for indeed excessive praise brings one close to being deceived [about his true status] and being pleased with it causes the displeasure of Allah.

15ـ اِلْصَقْ بِأهْلِ الخَيْرِ والوَرَعِ، وَرَضِّهِمْ عَلى أنْ

16. Make your self a gauge between you and the other; love for him what you love for your self, and hate for him what you hate for it, and do good as you would like good to be done to you, and do not oppress just as you would like not to be oppressed.

16ـ اِجْعَلْ نَفْسَكَ ميزاناً بَيْنَكَ وبَيْنَ غَيْرِكَ، وأحِبَّ لَهُ

17. Associate with people in the way that you would like them to associate with you, [by doing this] you will be safe from them and they will be safe from you.

17ـ إصْحَبِ النّاسَ بِما تُحِبُّ أنْ يَصْحَبُوكَ تَأمَنْهُمْ

18. Keep away from socializing with evil people for they are like fire - the one who comes in contact with it gets burnt.

18ـ إيّاكَ ومُعاشَرَةَ الأشْرارِ، فَإنَّهُمْ كَالنّارِ مُباشَرَتُها

19. Keep away from socializing with those who look for the faults (or sins) of people, for indeed even their companion is not safe from them.

19ـ إيّاكَ وَمُعاشَرَةَ مُتَتَبِّعي عُيُوبِ (الذُّنُوبِ)

20. Be sure to keep away from that which angers your Lord and alienates people from you, for the one who angers his Lord is faced with annihilation and one who alienates people renounces freedom.

20ـ إيّاكَ وما يُسْخِطُ رَبَّكَ، ويُوحِشُ النّاسَ مِنْكَ، فَمَنْ

21. Be careful to keep away from turning your backs on each other, cutting off ties with each other, and abandoning the enjoining of good and prohibiting of evil [with respect to one another].

21ـ إيّاكُمْ والتَّدابُـرَ، والتَّقاطُعَ، وتَرْكَ الأمْرِ

22. The most deserving of those whom you love is the one who does not forsake you.

22ـ أوْلى مَنْ أحْبَبْتَ مَنْ لايَقْلاكَ.

23. The most equitable conduct is for you to deal with people in the way you would like them to deal with you.

23ـ أعْدَلُ السيرَةِ أنْ تُعامِلَ النّاسَ بِما تُحِبُّ أنْ يُعامِلُوكَ

24. The most unjust conduct is for you to seek equity from people while not dealing with them in the same way.

24ـ أجْوَرُ السِّيرَةِ أنْ تَنْتَصِفَ مِنَ النّاسِ ولاتُعامِلَهُمْ

25. The most worthy of those whom you love is he whose benefit is for you and whose harm is for other than you.

25ـ أحَقُّ مَنْ أحْبَبْتَهُ مَنْ نَفْعُهُ لَكَ وضَرُّهُ لِغَيْرِكَ.

26. Verily the best outward appearance [and demeanour] is that which makes you mingle with people and beautifies you among them and restrains their tongues from [speaking ill of] you.

26ـ إنَّ أحْسَنَ الزِّىِّ ما خَلَطَكَ بِالنَّاسِ، وَجَمَّلَكَ

27. Make others incline towards you instead of distancing themselves from you.

27ـ أقِمِ الرَّغْبَةَ إلَيْكَ مَقامَ الحُرْمَةِ بِكَ.

28. Man is the son of his time.[^1]

28ـ اَلْمَرْءُ اِبْنُ ساعَتِهِ.

29. Through good social interaction, affection lasts.

29ـ بِحُسْنِ العِشْرَةِ تَدُومُ المَوَدَّةُ.

30. Through good social interaction friendships become intimate.

30ـ بِحُسْنِ العِشْرَةِ تَأْنَسُ الرِّفاقُ.

31. By good social interaction ties (or companionship) last.

31ـ بِحُسْنِ العِشْـرَةِ تَدُومُ الوُصْلَةُ (الصُحْبَةُ).

32. How evil an associate the spiteful person is!

32ـ بِئسَ العَشيرُ الحَقُودُ.

33. Good social interaction causes affection to endure.

33ـ حُسْنُ العِشْرَةِ يَسْتَديمُ المَوَدَّةَ.

34. Interact with people through their [norms of] etiquette but separate yourself from them in [your] actions.

34ـ خالِقُوا النّاسَ بِأخْلاقِهِمْ وزايِلُوهُمْ فِي الأعْمالِ.

35. Interact with people in such a way that when you die, they weep over you and when you are absent, they yearn for your company.

35ـ خالِطُوا النّاسَ مُخالَطَةً، إنْ مِتُّمْ بَكَوْا عَلَيْكُمْ وإنْ

36. Interact with people through your tongues and your bodies, but part from them with your hearts and your actions.

36ـ خالِطُوا النّاسَ بِألْسِنَتِكُمْ وأجْسادِكُمْ، وزايِلُوهُمْ

37. Many an associate is not a close friend.

37ـ رُبَّ عَشير غَيْرُ حَبيب.

38. It is in times of trial that a man is [either] honoured or disgraced.

38ـ عِنْدَ الاِمْتِحانِ يُكْرَمُ الرَّجُلِ أَوْيُهانُ.

39. Associate with the people of excellence and you will gain felicity and nobility.

39ـ عاشِرْ أهْلَ الفَضْلِ تَسْعَدْ وتَنْبُلْ.

40. The development of the hearts is in socializing with people of intellect.

40ـ عِمارَةُ القُلُوبِ في مُعاشَرَةِ ذَوِى العُقُولِ.

41. Cutting off [ties with] the ignorant is equivalent to establishing ties with the intelligent.

41ـ قَطيعَةُ الجاهِلِ تَعْدِلُ صِلَةَ العاقِلِ.

42. The intelligent person [only] cuts off ties with you after failing to find any other way out.

42ـ قَطيعَةُ العاقِلِ لَكَ بَعْدَ نَفاذِ الحيلَةِ فيكَ.

43. Get closer to the people in their morals and you will be safe from their malice [and evil].

43ـ قارِبِ النّاسَ في أخْلاقِهِمْ تَأمَنْ غَوائِلَهُمْ.

44. Having many acquaintances is a tribulation, and socializing with the people is an ordeal.

44ـ كَثْرَةُ المَعارِفِ مِحْنَةٌ، وخُلْطَةُ النّاسِ فِتْنَةٌ.

45. One whose social interaction increases, his piety (or reliability) decreases.

45ـ مَنْ كَثُرَتْ خُلْطَتُهُ قَلَّتْ تَقِيَّتُهُ (ثِقَتُهُ).

46. One who mingles with the people is affected by their devices.

46ـ مَنْ خالَطَ النّاسَ نالَهُ مَكْرُهُمْ.

47. Whoever mingles with the people, his piety decreases?

47ـ مَنْ خالَطَ النّاسَ قَلَّ وَرَعُهُ.

48. One whose social interaction is good, his brother’s increase.

48ـ مَنْ حَسُنَتْ عِشْرَتُهُ كَثُرَ إخْوانُهُ.

49. One who deals leniently with people enjoys [and benefits from] their company.

49ـ مَنْ عامَلَ النَّاسَ بِالمُسامَحَةِ اِسْتَمْتَعَ بِصُحْبَتِهِمْ.

50. One whose being alive is not beneficial to you, then count him among the dead.

50ـ مَنْ لَمْ تَنْفَعْكَ حَياتُهُ فَعُدَّهُ فِي المَوْتى.

51. Be good in your interactions, be patient in difficulties and be equitable when you have power.

51ـ أحْسِنِ العِشْرَةَ، واصْبِرْ عَلَى العُسْرَةِ، وأنْصِفْ مَعَ

52. Be pleased for [other] people with that which pleases you, then you will be a [true] Muslim.

52ـ اِرْضَ للنّاسِ بِما تَرْضاهُ لِنَفْسِكَ، تَكُنْ مُسْلِماً.

[^1]: Meaning that he is bound to follow the ways of the people of his time (and this is acceptable as long as it is not against the commandments of Allah).