Islamic Culture and Religious Studies Book - 3

Lesson 12 : Anger and Its Control

Have you ever seen someone in a state of total rage? Did you notice that the colour of his face changed, his whole body trembled and he most probably lost control of himself, shouting things that made no sense. He might have reminded you of a mad man.

A person in this state cannot listen to reason, he is unable to distinguish between truth and falsehood. He acts without thinking and is fuelled by an urge to destroy and hurt all around him which explains why he may insult the people who try to help him or even throw and break anything he can get his hands on.

When he has vented his anger, he will feel tired and as he gradually comes back to his senses, shame for his beastly actions will wash over him. Such is the destructive force of anger.

Anger is an inherent quality in all human beings. It is a weapon provided by nature to be used in danger when guarding oneself from the enemy. It can be a useful tool to make sure that others do not think us weak and easily taken advantage of.

However, misused, anger can turn into uncontrollable rage, and provoke an individual to acts that he would never consider under normal circumstances.

One might argue that anger is not in our power to control and an involuntary reaction. This would be wrong. Anger is within a person's control. It only requires effort and practice to learn how to rein it.By cultivating and strengthening one's will power, one can learn to control one's anger and to deal with issues rationally and constructively.

The aim is to keep calm when we face any personal attacks and to save our anger only for the defense of Islam. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.w.) was never seen to lose his temper for worldly or personal reasons but when the truth was hidden or violated, he would show his anger in such a manner that nobody would be able to oppose him.

We mostly tend to become angry over worldly issues. We get upset over the smallest things. We should make every effort to control our anger or swallow our temper. It may be difficult at first to distance ourselves in the middle of a crisis and contemplate the issues at hand but it gets easier with practice and the positive results we derives from such action will definitely be worth the effort.

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.w.) has said, " Whoever can swallow his anger, most surely Allah (S.W.T.) will fill his heart with peace and faith." The Muslims at the time of the Prophet (s.a.w.w.) and Aimmah (a.s.) knew the great emphasis placed on control of ones anger by Islam and they strived to achieve this state. We can see their admirable will throughout history. Let us look at just one story and try to learn from it.

A MAN OF STRENGTH

A tall and masculine man was passing through the market. He was wearing a long robe of modest cloth and had a piece of the same material as his turban. One of his eyes was injured, probably in a battle.

As he walked past the stalls, a group of men noticed him. One of them, having nothing better to do, decided to provide amusement for his friends. He picked up some grass and threw it at the man, calling out in a mocking tone. His friends laughed at this scene.

The man however, did not react. He brushed the grass off his clothes and walked away calmly. When he was out of hearing, an old man who had witnessed the entire incident walked up the group and asked them, "Do you know who that was?"

The youth who had thrown the grass replied: "No, but what does it matter who he was? He couldn't even stand up for himself! What a coward!"

The old man looked at him in surprise, "The man you have insulted is Malike- Ashtar! He is the Commander-in-Chief of the army of Imam Ali (a.s.) and the most powerful man in these times. Haven't you heard about his courage in battles? Even the most powerful enemies of Islam shake in awe and fear him."

The ignorant man's face turned pale and he began to tremble. "O God!" he exclaimed. "Malike-Ashtar! What a fool I was to behave that way! I have destroyed my reputation and my self. I had better go and apologize before I have to face the consequences!"

He ran in the direction Malike-Ashtar had taken and finally found him praying in the mosque. He stood in the corner, hanging his head in shame and waited for him to finish his prayers.

As soon as Malike-Ashtar completed his salaat, the man went near him and greeted him. He then apologized profusely and asked him to forgive his rudeness.

Malike-Ashtar looked at the man said him, "It is true that your actions made me angry but as soon as I took a glance at your face when you threw the grass on my face, I realized that you acted out of ignorance. For that reason, I controlled my anger and remained calm. I forgave you with all my heart immediately. After that, I came straight to the mosque to pray to Allah (S.W.T.) to guide and forgive you. Be assured that I have already forgiven you, and I seek no revenge from you. My advice to you is that from now on, do not do such a thing to anyone."

Malike-Ashtar continued, "What is the difference between an old dress and a new one, good quality of fabric or a low one, a black person or a white one, ugly or beautiful?

"All are equal in the eyes of the Lord, except in regards to their taqwa and good deeds. We are all servants of the Almighty. Allah (S.W.T.) has told us to refrain from insulting one another. We may not always be able to fully control our anger but it is possible to succeed more often than not."

This story about Malike-Ashtar teaches us many lessons. It shows us that when we are faced with ignorance, we must not let anger affect the manner in which we deal with it. Malik also shows us that the controlling of anger is only the first step. It is our duty to also pray for the person who angered us and seek Allah (S.W.T.)'s forgiveness for him. Finally, if the person who wronged us comes to us with an apology, we must accept it unhesitatingly and never make him feel more ashamed than he already is.

According to the traditions of Prophet Isa (a.s.) he was once asked, "What is the most fierce punishment on the Day of Judgment?"

He replied, " The anger of Allah (S.W.T.)" His disciples then asked him, "What can one do to be safe from this?"

Prophet Isa (a.s.) told them, "Control his anger, so that he be saved from the wrath of God on that Day."

A Holy Verse Allah (S.W.T.) reminds all Believers in Qur'an, " Those who spend (benevolently) in ease as well as in difficulty and those who restrain (their) anger and pardon men; and Allah loves the doers of good (to others)." Sura Ale-Imraan, Verse 134

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT…

1. Allah (S.W.T.) has made anger part of the human spirit so that he may be able to protect himself against the attacks of his enemies. When he turns this weapon on his friends and family, it is misused and can bring no good results. Instead he should try to overlook their mistakes and act with kindness and compassion towards them.

2. Anger should be within one's control. It is necessary to have a strong will power in order to control its flames.

3. Victory against anger is the greatest achievements of a Believer and allows him to be good and virtuous. A true Believer is one who has control over his desires and emotions (including anger).

Think And Answer

1. What was the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.w.)'s attitude towards anger ?
2. What has the Prophet (s.a.w.w.) said about those who control their anger?
3. Explain Malike-Ashtar's reaction to the man who mocked him.
4. What do you think made Malike-Ashtar behave so calmly in the face of such an insult?
5. What are the ways in which one can control one's anger? (Explain the ways learnt in this lesson and also research on any other advice given by the Prophet (s.a.w.w.) and Aimmah (a.s)).
6. What is the worst punishment on the Day of Judgment and how can a Believer save himself from it?

Lesson 13 : Family Life in Islam

The family is one of the most important and sacred institutions in Islam. According to Allah (S.W.T.) there is no other structure as dear as that of a family, which is why He tells us that whoever avoids a life of loneliness and puts an effort to acquire a spouse will have secured half of his faith.

The establishment of a family is the best way to protect oneself from sins. It helps to provide an Islamic environment for the people in it and thus, enhances moral values.

In order to ensure that this blessed environment remains strong and firm from the beginning, Allah (S.W.T.) has assigned all members who fall under its umbrella with rights and duties. Every individual has an important role to play in his family. Just as no one can claim to have rights without duties, similarly, each member of a family has both when dealing with his relatives.

The Rights Of Children Upon Their Parents

It is the duty of parents to do the following for their children:

1. To give them good names.
2. To educate and nurture the children spiritually, morally, intellectually and physically. Especially in Qur'anic training and Islamic values.
3. To show them love, compassion, kindness and respect.
4. To allocate them a good place in the home as part of the family. Parents must guide their children towards Good with an attitude of kindness. They should also encourage them in their ambitions and share their feelings and ideas.

The Rights Of Parents Upon Their Children

The duties of children towards their parents are:

1. They should not to do anything that would against their will or order. This applies only as long as the order is not against that of Allah (S.W.T.)

2. Children should show their parents great compassion and utmost respect at all times.

3. When their parents become old, they should serve them happily with a willing heart i.e. not only out of a sense of duty but also with love. Parents raise their children with love when they are helpless babies and thus, it is only fitting that children should reciprocate in the same manner when they are frail and weak in old age.

Family life in Islam is based on principles like sacrifice, kindness, sincerity, and devotion. That is why, although a member is required to fulfill his duties, he is expected to understand if his rights are not upheld to his standards. He should also try and help the other members to fulfill their rights.

The Role of Hejab (Modesty) in the Family

In order to safeguard the sanctity of families and protect the Islamic society, Islam has ordered men, women, boys and girls to live within Hejab in order to avoid moral corruption.

Islam warns daughters, not to cross the limits of the Sheriat in regards to Hejab. They should refrain from socializing with Na-Mahram (men who are strangers). This is so that they may live in self-respect and chastity, away from the dangers of lust and greed. They should also avoid adorning themselves in front of such men as this too would invite advances.

Allah (S.W.T.) says in the Holy Quran:

"Say to the believing men that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts; that is purer for them; surely Allah is aware of what they do." Sura Noor, Verse 30

In another ayat, Allah (S.W.T.) ordered His Prophet saying: "O Prophet! Say to the believing women to lower their gaze..." Sura Noor, Verse 31

According to the laws of Islam, a woman should cover her body, hair and head from strange men. She should refrain from wearing clothes that would attract/seduce men because clothes are regarded not only as a covering for the body, but also as a shield of protection. This kind of modest dressing raises the status and value of women and prevents their being abused or dishonored.

The Ideal Family

When studying family life in Islam, we find a perfect example of what this institution should be like in the form of Imam Ali (a.s.) and Hadhrat Zahra (a.s.). Theirs was a marriage that was founded on faith, respect and honor.

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.w.) had allocated each their duties when they were married. Hadhrat Fatema (a.s.) would deal with the indoor work i.e. grinding flour, baking bread, cooking, cleaning and looking after the children, while Imam Ali (a.s) handled all the outdoor work. However, when he came home, if he saw that she was tired and over burdened, he would help her out with the chores. He also took an equal part in looking after the children so that they spent quality time with both their mother and father. This system worked wonderfully and they lived a hard but happy life.

Despite the fact that they had to struggle to make ends meet, their love and faith never wavered and Islam always came first in their priorities. It was this devotion to Allah (S.W.T.) that allowed them to find solace and comfort in even the most trying times.

One day Imam Ali (a.s.) found Hadhrat Fatema (a.s.)'s working at the chores with blistered and bleeding hands. He felt sad that she was suffering so much and yet never uttered a word of complaint to him.

"How I wish I could help you more in your work," he said to his wife. "Forgive me that I cannot assist much. My responsibilities towards my beloved Prophet take up my time so that I cannot do more for you."

He then suggested, "Why not ask your kind father to get you a househelp to share the duties with."

Hadhrat Fatema (a.s.) agreed with this and left for her father's house. When she arrived to there, she found that the Prophet (s.a.w.w.) was in the company of a few of his companions. Seeing this, she felt too shy to present her request and after a little while, she bid him farewell and left.

The next morning, the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.w.) came to his daughter's house and at the door he stopped and greeted those inside three times, saying "Assalamu Alaikum Yaa Ahlul-Bayt" (Peace be upon you, O People of My house).

Imam Ali (a.s.) immediately replied inviting the Prophet (s.a.w.w.) to come inside. The Prophet (s.a.w.w.) sat and talked with them a little. Then, he turned to his daughter and said, "My dear daughter, yesterday you came to my house and wanted to say something to me but left without sharing what you had in your heart."

He waited for her to reply but seeing that she was to shy to bring up the issue, he asked her "O my beloved Fatema, tell me what it is that you want with your father."

Again Hadhrat Fatema (a.s.) could not state her wish. Instead she looked away and seeing her reluctance, Imam Ali (a.s.) spoke instead, "O Messenger of God, I sent Zahra to you, because the work of the house is too much for her to handle alone. Looking after the children, baking bread, grinding flour, and the innumerable other chores tire her out. Because I am busy traveling on missions, in the battle field or carrying out the other work required outside, I cannot offer her more help and support in fulfilling her enormous tasks. Sometimes, when I am tired, she even has to bring firewood and fetch water."

He told the Prophet (s.a.w.w.), "For this reason, I suggested that she come to you for guidance and assistance in acquiring a house help".

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.w.) pondered on this request. He greatly loved his daughter and would have liked nothing better than to relieve her from all the problems she was facing but he knew that the majority of people in Medina lived in similar conditions.

After Hijrat, the Ansaars (the citizens of Medina) shared what they had with the Muhajirin (the Immigrants). Many did not live a comfortable life and could not afford house help. The Messenger of Allah (S.W.T.) knew that as leader of the Ummah, he could not live a more comfortable or luxurious life than other Muslims. Looking at his daughter and son-in-law gently, he asked them, "Would you like me to teach you something that is much better than a house help?" "Of course, O Messenger of God," they both replied.

Pleased with their answer, the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.w.) told them, "When you prepare for bed, say Subhaan Allah 33 times, Alhamdulilah 33 times, and Allaho Akbar 34 times. Repeat this often and it will provide you with strength, patience and firmness. No doubt, repeating this Dhikr is far better than a house help. He then glanced at his daughter and asked her, "Are you happy with your father?"

Hadhrat Fatema (a.s.) smiled and nodded saying, "Whatever Allah (S.W.T.) and his Messenger wills, I gladly accept too." Ref: Bihaarul-Anwaar Vol 43 page 82

A Holy Verse Regarding parents, Allah (S.W.T.) has said in the Qur'an "And We have enjoined on man doing of good to his parents." Sura Ahqaf, Verse 15

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT…

1. The family is the most sacred and loved social structure in Islam and Allah (S.W.T.) has identified duties and rights for every member so that it be strong may face all problems that come its way with unity.

2. The duties of parents to their children are to give them a good name, show them love and consistently persevere in raising their children up with the highest standard of morals.

3. The duties of children to their parents are to do good to them, respect them, follow their order - as long as it is not against Allah (S.W.T.). During their old age, when they turn weak and frail, it is obligatory upon the children to take care and nurse them with patience, gentleness and love.

Think and Answer

1. What is the most beloved social structure in Islam?
2. Mention the rights of children upon their parents.
3. Mention the duties of children upon their parents.
4. What do you think is the philosophy behind Hejab and chastity? What are the effects of maintaining Hejaab?
5. What was the Dhikr the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.w.) gave to Imam Ali (a.s.) and Hadhrat Fatema Zahra (a.s.)?

Introduction To Chapter Six

In The Name Of Allah (S.W.T.), the Beneficent, the Merciful

IMAMAT AND THE SOCIAL SYSTEM

We have seen in our previous studies that the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.w.) gave very special attention to the issue of Imamat (Leadership) of the Muslim society after his death. We know that he appointed Ali Ibn Abi Taalib (a.s.) as his own successor, at the command of Allah (S.W.T.). Imam Ali (a.s.) was to take over the leadership of the Ummah and implement the ahkam of Islam. He was to be guardian of the religion sent by Allah (S.W.T.).

In furthering our study of this most basic root of religion (Imamat), we will now look at the position of Aimmah (a.s.) and their attitude against unjust Caliphs.