Seeking the Straight Path: Reflections of a New Muslim
How Can You Believe In That?
My audience for this book are both the Muslim and non-Muslim. The
non-Muslim are likely to come across this book because of a desire to
know more about Islam. From what I have written thus far, they may have
learned a little about the life and path of a convert. However, they are
probably seeking more than this. Islam contains many things that are
controversial in the Western world and sometimes even within the Muslim
community.
These things affect how Islam and Muslims are perceived by non-Muslims
and, with the pervasion of Western ideas throughout the world, cause
doubts to creep into the minds of some Muslims. Converts have to address
these things early in their new life because they find them troubling
and in need of explanation. I have accepted Islam as God’s truth, so
when I find something in Islam that seems oppressive, I have a problem.
I know that God is not oppressive, so either I have an incorrect
understanding of that thing and it is not truly oppressive, or else it
is oppressive but it is not truly part of Islam. Now it is my job to
determine which of those two possibilities is the case, with an open
mind, reflection and study from numerous sources. I stress the need for
numerous sources, and I also stress finding original sources. If you
want to know about what Muslims believe, ask Muslims.
This is not the work of a religious scholar and what follows is not
intended to be used as if it were. In the spirit of the title of this
book, these are merely my reflections on these issues, presented so that
the reader may understand how a Muslim convert has dealt with and come
to understand some of the more controversial aspects of Islam. These are
presented in no particular order and you may of course feel free to skip
over any that are not of interest to you. If you find that you do not
agree with what I have written on any topic, I hope it will not deter
you from enjoying and benefiting from the rest of the book.
Marriage
** **
Women in Marriage
Being a woman, as I thought of converting to Islam, I was greatly
concerned about the status of woman in Islam. Especially after I
converted, my ears were full with people telling me what a horrible
mistake I had made and how I had relegated myself to a life of
oppression. I had in my mind an image of what a Muslim woman was
supposed to be like and I tried to make myself fit that role. I thought
the Muslim woman was supposed to be submissive, quiet, unopinionated,
and filling her time cooking and cleaning. I tried to be that way for
awhile but it just wasn’t me and I was very unhappy.
In time, I realized that no one was demanding this behavior of me
except myself. As I gained exposure to other Muslim women, it dawned on
me that I had it all wrong. I was trying to be the Western stereotype of
a Muslim woman, but the stereotype was wrong.
Muslim men and women observe modest behavior in each other’s presence
so that generally neither of them are loud and boisterous in public.
But, in private, Muslim women are comfortably themselves. They have
their opinions and they share them with their husbands and families, who
in turn listen and respect what is said. A Muslim husband takes counsel
with his wife. They work together to complete the household work. It is
true that a Muslim woman defers to her husband when they cannot agree,
but only if doing so does not cause her to violate her religion or
rights. The Qur’an is very clear that the marriage relationship is not
supposed to be one of fear or abuse, but one of comfort and love:
“And among His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves
so that you may live in tranquility with them; And He has created love
and mercy between you.” (30:21)
This is a vision of the Islamic ideal, and in reality the Muslim family
is much closer to this than to the stereotypical view of a wife-beating
man and a woman who has no say in what happens in her life. Sadly,
abusive and overbearing husbands exist among the Muslims just as they do
among the Christians, Jews and everyone else. And, just as the abusive
men of other faiths, they often believe they are religiously in the
right.
I feel that in this century the abused Muslim woman is at a disadvantage
in comparison to her Christian counterpart living in the West. In the
past, any woman had little practical recourse from abuse. In this
century, Western women increasingly have opportunities for help and
escape without being ostracized. But the Muslim woman is likely to live
in a world where it is still taboo for people to become involved in the
family affairs of others in order to help the abused woman. The abused
Muslim woman who leaves becomes the subject of gossip and judgment while
the man often has a much easier time in maintaining his dignity and even
in remarrying.
Despite this problem, I can say through comparison of every married
Muslim and non-Muslim couple I have ever met that the Muslim marriages
tend to be happier, more equal, and longer lasting. Since many Muslim
marriages are arranged without the couple knowing each other too well
before marriage, they both enter the marriage with a spirit of
compromise. There does not exist the delusion of the one right man or
right woman in the world. Rather, Muslims believe they can be compatible
and have a successful loving marriage with a variety of different types
of people.
All marriages take work. In my mind, one of the great failings of the
typical Western non-Muslim marriage is that it is expected to be easy.
When difficulties arise, the couple decides they must have not really
found their one right mate, and so they part; and very rarely is the
parting kind and equitable.
Finding a Mate
Muslim youth in the West today are enticed by the romantic images on
TV. They wonder where the room is for romance in an arranged marriage.
Having experienced a small bit of dating life as a non-Muslim, and then
having married a Muslim, I feel I can offer perspective. Dating is not
romantic, it is not fun, and it does not help in later married life.
There is such great peer pressure to date that it occurs among the very
young, and people only get hurt. A relationship begins, the youth may do
things they regret, and a short time later they leave each other. Then,
they talk about each other, spreading gossip and damaging each other’s
reputations. Most of the time the relationship is largely physical and
even basic friendship is missing between the two, although they can’t
see that through the veil of their strong physical desires. This is true
even for those who try to remain chaste. As people get older,
relationships last a little longer, but the problems don’t change all
that much.
Finally, the “training” is over and a couple gets married. They feel
they have prepared themselves to know what kind of person is good for
them through years of dating. However, they find that in marriage, their
spouse is not the same person as he/she was while dating. And they find
that both they and their spouses have jealousy over those previous
dating relationships. The romance and true love that these people are
looking for does not come automatically like on TV.
True romance comes from the commitment of the people involved and from friendship and not from magic instant sparks. They’ve been spending years looking for the ideal mate when in truth any couple who both approach a marriage with the right state of mind and have some basic compatible qualities can be ideal for each other.
Romance comes through friendship and compromise and accepting the other
person with their faults included, and does not come from pre-marital
sex, discarding partners for others, and expecting a near-perfect match.
Dating actually diminishes romance because it desensitizes the couple to
the special-ness of the husband-wife relationship. The effort spent on
dating should be spent on developing yourself as the ideal Islamic
spouse. You will find with patience that there are others out there
doing the same as you and God willing one of them may become your life
mate.
Dating, or visiting each other without escort, is not the solution.
But, it is not unreasonable for someone to want to know his/her
potential spouse before agreeing to marriage. Often the characteristics
that a parent looks for in a potential spouse for their son or daughter
do not match with the characteristics that are most important to the
child. The child certainly knows something about what he or she wants
and that needs to be respected. Likewise, the wisdom of the parent due
to life experience is of value and should also be considered.
Especially in the West, where Muslim communities are often small and
far from one another, it is unreasonable to expect the search for a
spouse who possesses those certain characteristics that you require to
be an easy or quick search. This is a life-decision being made, so it
should be done with effort. Muslim communities have a duty to their
children to open their minds and invest their time and money in
developing any method of finding suitable spouses that does not violate
Islamic principles. In turn, the youth have a responsibility invest
their own time and effort into the process and to avoid any method that
involves violation of Islamic guidelines. After all, if you want a happy
and successful marriage, you must pursue it in a manner that is pleasing
to Allah.
I cannot leave the topic of marriage without addressing the two most
controversial topics: polygamy and temporary marriage. Polygamy as used
here refers specifically to polygyny, that is, the act of a man having
more than one wife, and temporary marriage is the act of taking a spouse
for a fixed, finite term rather than “until death do you part.”
Polygamy
Islam makes allowance for a man to have up to four wives at a time.
This is an appalling concept for many people today. The Western world
holds fast to the idea that for each man there is one ideal woman and
for each woman there is one ideal man. And, it comes natural for one
raised in the West to view a polygamous relationship as an uneven one in
which the women are treated unfairly.
Other cultures have very different views that might be worth noting
here. In many cultures, in particular those stemming from Africa, a
polygamous marriage is something greatly desired. Having more than one
wife for a given man provides security to the women because the man,
already having a spouse, has demonstrated his ability to be a good
husband.
Further, the women enjoy each other’s companionship and help in
child-rearing and other duties. In many war-torn societies, the women
greatly outnumber the men and those who desire companionship and help in
life turn to polygamous relationships because the only other choices are
to remain alone or commit sin.
The polygamous relationship meets a need that could not be met
otherwise. If it were regarded with less taboo it could satisfactorily
meet the needs of many people who now do not even consider it.
In practice, it is not exceedingly common for a Muslim man to have more
than one wife. That is because doing so is not about his pleasure but is
rather about responsibility to society. One verse in Qur’an which
attests to this is as follows:
“And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of
the women who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear
that ye cannot do justice to so many then one only…. Thus it is more
likely that ye will not do injustice.” (4.3)
Polygamy is presented as a means of serving the needs of orphans in
this verse, not as a means of serving the needs of lustful men. The
Qur’an emphasizes the need for justness in any marriage. This is a
heavier burden for a man with more than one wife because he is required
to meet the needs of each and treat them fairly. Each is entitled to her
own home according to his means, and each is entitled to equitable
possessions and time. It is not permitted that a man should ignore or
neglect one wife and prefer another in treatment.
It is good to keep in mind that a Muslim woman has the right to full
choice in her spouse and if she marries a man who is already married
then she does it knowingly and of her own volition. If ever the case is
otherwise and the woman is coerced into marriage, that marriage is void
according to Islam and she has no responsibility to persist in it. The
one who does not have as much choice is the first wife, for she may not
be able to prohibit her husband from taking another spouse.
However, she can put into her marriage contract that if he takes another
spouse she is entitled to divorce. Many women are discouraged from
putting the clause in their contract because it might imply that the
girl does not trust her future husband. But, if a young lady knows full
well that she could not be happy in a polygamous relationship than she
should see to it that such a clause appears in her contract, no matter
how unlikely she considers that it would be needed.
It takes an exceptional man and woman to build a truly Islamic, happy,
successful marriage and that is only compounded in the case of a
polygamous marriage. There is no room in the heart of a Muslim woman in
a successful polygamous relationship for jealousy. Her time with her
husband is shared with other women, but if she has a good husband she
has nothing to fear because he observes all his duties to her, and is
kind and loving. In turn, she does and is the same for him. Many people
are well served by such a relationship and it should not be looked on
with such distaste. Our distaste stems from Western, rather than
Islamic, views, and also from fear of oppression. However, a polygamous
marriage is not in itself oppressive any more than a monogamous one.
Injustice within a marriage can be oppressive, and it is indeed not a
simple matter for a polygamous man to be just to multiple wives, and
that is why the Qur’an advises that the man who cannot do it justly
simply should not do it.
I tried to imagine if I myself could exist happily and successfully in
a polygamous relationship. I think I could if I had confidence in my
spouse. If a man has an inclination toward taking another wife it is
wrong to assume a bad motive. Not only in this case but in any case, a
woman must not assume bad intention on the part of her husband but
instead should assume good intentions unless there is proof otherwise
(and the husband should do likewise for her).
The question may be asked, though, why cannot the woman take more than
one husband? At first glance, it may seem unfair that it is not
permitted. But, in light of what has been explained above, that taking
more than one spouse is not about pleasure but is a matter of meeting
social needs and taking on enormous responsibility, that question loses
considerable force.
Further, if a woman has more than one husband, paternity becomes an issue, as does family authority. The most wealthy and sophisticated societies now have the technology to scientifically determine paternity, but this is not available to everyone. And while successful marriages all over the world tend to involve cooperation and counsel between husband and wife, it is also natural nearly everywhere that ultimately the husband is the final authority in the household.
When there is more than one husband, there is no longer a natural or
clear household leader and discord results. And if there is more than
one husband, inheritance becomes an issue as well because virtually all
societies determine inheritance based on paternity.
More importantly, one must ask, what societal needs would be served in
a woman having multiple husbands? While the opposite case can be seen to
meet real societal needs, it is difficult to come up with a genuine need
for polyandry (marriage of a woman with multiple men.)
Temporary Marriage
My last topic in marriage is perhaps the most controversial within the
Muslim community, and this is the temporary marriage. Among the Muslims
are some who believe that the temporary marriage is unlawful and others
who believe that it is lawful and even very important.
Those who believe it is unlawful believe that the Prophet of Islam
(saw), through God’s command, allowed it for a very short period and
then disallowed it. Those who believe it is lawful believe that the
Prophet of Islam (saw) never disallowed it but rather it was a Caliph,
after the death of the Prophet (saw) at which time Islam cannot be
changed, who made it illegal.
Further, those who find it lawful turn to a verse in the Qur’an in
which they believe it (temporary marriage) is mentioned. They say that
something which is lawful in Qur’an and not made unlawful somewhere else
in the Qur’an must be permissible. The matter of dispute is in 4:24,
here presented as in the Puya/Ali translation and tafsir (explanatory
notes) of the Holy Qur’an:
“As to those whom you married for a fixed time (Mut’a), give them
their agreed dowries; and there is no sin for you in what you mutually
agree together after what has been settled.”
The corresponding explanatory note follows:
“Famastamta-tum bihi [the Arabic in the text which refers to the
marriage] provides for a temporary marriage, knows as Mut’a. It has
been specifically made lawful by the Qur’an and the Holy Prophet,
therefore this provision subsists as unrescinded.
One day, for no reason at all, and having no authority to amend a law
given and practiced by the Holy Prophet, the second caliph declared from
the pulpit:
‘Two Mut’as (temporary marriage and combining hajj with umra) were in
force during the time of the Holy Prophet, but now I decree both of them
as unlawful; and I will punish those who practice them.’ (Tafsir Kabir,
Durr al Manthur, Kashshaf, Mustadrak and others).
According to Tirmidhi even his [the second caliph’s] son, Ibne Umar,
refused to agree with his father’s action because it was made lawful by
Allah and His Prophet, whose pronouncements could never be revoked by
anyone after him.
Therefore the Shia school of thought holds both Mut’as lawful. Ali
ibn abi Talib reversed the uncalled-for innovation of the second caliph,
and thereafter it was never again prohibited.”
Now if we look at a different translation, we find that there is no
clear mention of the marriage referred to as being temporary in
nature:
“And those of whom ye seek content (by marrying them), give unto them
their portions as a duty. And there is no sin for you in what you do by
mutual agreement after the duty (hath been done).” (Pickthall)
* *
Thus, for one who is not an expert in Qur’anic Arabic, it is difficult
to determine whether “famastamta-tum bihi” refers to a temporary
marriage. It may be easier, then, to adhere by the law according to the
Islamic school that you choose to follow, but this is not a truly
satisfactory answer for the convert who may have not yet chosen a
school. However, it is possible to study the works of those who are more
knowledgeable in Qur’anic Arabic or you can try to determine the matter
using the information on which nearly all Muslims agree.
That on which nearly all Muslims agree, both Sunni and Shia, is that
the temporary marriage was made lawful by the Prophet (saw) of Islam and
was not made unlawful until after Allah (swt) had completed and
perfected Islam and the Prophet (saw) had died.
It is also largely agreed upon that anyone after the Prophet (saw)
cannot make anything that was lawful, unlawful, or anything that was
prohibited, allowed, except on a temporary basis stemming from urgent
political need. As an example of a temporary change stemming from urgent
political need, it would be acceptable for an Islamic scholar to
prohibit the use of birth control temporarily to counteract an
oppressor’s rule that all Muslims must not procreate. Normally, many
methods of birth control are permissible for Muslims, but in an
emergency when the future of the Muslim society is at stake, the scholar
can rule that they should not use birth control until the situation is
alleviated.
Therefore it would seem that the second caliph’s ruling cannot have any
effect on the permissibility of temporary marriage today and as such the
conclusion I make is that it is permissible. There are a minority of
Sunnis who turn to different traditions that indicate that the Prophet
(saw) himself forbade Mut’a, but those traditions contradict each
other and do not stand up to close scrutiny and we are left with the
same conclusion that temporary marriage is permitted. But, to address
that opinion, the following is quoted from the Shia Encyclopedia
(available online):
“Sabra al-Juhanni reported on the authority of his father that while he
was with Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him), he said: O’ people,
I had permitted you to contract temporary marriage with women, but Allah
has forbidden it (now) until the Day of Resurrection. So he who has any
(woman with this type of marriage contract) he should let her off, and
do not take back anything you have given to them (as dower).
* *
Sunni references:
Sahih Muslim, English version, v2, chapter DXLI (titled: Temporary
Marriage), Tradition #3255
Sahih Muslim, Arabic version, 1980 Edition Pub. in Saudi Arabia, v2,
p1025, Tradition #21, “Kitab al-Nikah, Bab Nikah al-Mut’a”
‘A side comment here is that again the word “Istimta’a” has been used
in this tradition for temporary marriage which is exactly what Quran has
used.’
“In the next tradition after the above tradition in Sahih Muslim, the
same narrator (Sabra) has narrated the same tradition with addition
that:
“I saw Allah’s Messenger standing between the pillar and gate of Ka’ba
when speaking the Hadith.”
* *
Sunni references:
Sahih Muslim, English version, v2, chapter DXLI (titled: Temporary
Marriage), Tradition #3256
Sahih Muslim, Arabic version, 1980 Edition Pub. in Saudi Arabia, v2,
p1025, Tradition #21, “Kitab al-Nikah, Bab Nikah al-Mut’a”
“The following tradition, however, indicates that the Prophet allowed
Temporary marriage after the battle of Hunain (after 10/8 AH) which was
after the conquest of Mecca:
Narrated Iyas Ibn Salama on the authority of his father that Allah’s
Messenger (may peace be upon him) gave sanction for contracting
temporary marriage for three nights in the year of Autas (this was after
the Battle of Hunain in 8H), and then forbade it.
* *
{Note: The sentence inside parentheses is the Saudi translator’s
footnote, and is not mine.}
Sunni references:
Sahih Muslim, English version, v2, chapter DXLI (titled: Temporary
Marriage), Tradition #3251
Sahih Muslim, Arabic version, 1980 Edition Pub. in Saudi Arabia, v2,
p1023, Tradition #18, “Kitab al-Nikah, Bab Nikah al-Mut’a”
“Now, let us see what the problems are: …
If the Prophet has forbidden the temporary marriage FOREVER on the Day
of Khaibar (1/7 AH), why was it practiced even after the battle of
Hunain (after 10/8 AH) with the direct order of the Prophet? (See the
reference above) In other words:
How is that possible that one is forbidden FOREVER and in two different
points of time, on the Day of Khaibar (1/7 AH) and on the victory Mecca
(9/8 AH) FOREVER, and people were practicing it between these two
instants of time and after these two instances with the order of the
Prophet?
In the mentioned tradition about the battle of Hunain, it is said that
the messenger of Allah (sa) permitted Mut’a after the battle of
Hunain. So we cannot say people did it because they did not know it was
forbidden forever. The traditions confirms that Mut’a was done with
the direct order of the Prophet. So how can we justify these few alleged
traditions that the Prophet forbade it forever before that? …
Two Sunni scholars: al-Qurtubi (in his commentary of Quran) and
al-Nawawi (in his commentary of Sahih Muslim) are of the opinion that
different traditions concerning the ban of Mut’a specify seven
different dates!!! ….
What will be wrong if we take the opinion of Imam Ali (as), the most
knowledgeable one among the companions who said:
“Mut’a is a mercy from Allah to his servants. If it were not for Umar
forbidding it, no one would commit (the sin) of fornication except the
wretched (Shaqi)…”
* *
But why would anyone want to be in a temporary marriage? What purpose
does it serve? Temporary marriage is not intended as an alternative to
permanent marriage, but rather, is an option for those who have needs
that permanent marriage cannot meet. To claim that permanent marriage
meets all needs is foolish upon close examination of society. Imam Ali
(as), the 4th caliph of Islam according to the Sunnis and the first Imam
(one appointed by God to succeed in leadership after the Prophet (saw)
and to uphold the religion) according to the Shias, is quoted on this
issue as saying,
“It [temporary marriage] is permitted and absolutely allowed for the
one whom Allah has not provided with the means of permanent marriage so
that he may be chaste by performing Mut’a [temporary marriage].”
Wasail, vol. 14 pp.449-450.
In modern society, the temporary marriage may meet the needs of someone
who is travelling for a long time and is in need of companionship, or
someone who cannot find a permanent spouse. Additionally it may serve
the needs of someone without the financial means to have a wedding and
then to support his wife financially. (The requirement that he maintain
his spouse according to his means and according to what she is
accustomed to do not have to apply in temporary marriage.)
The elderly widows who have little realistic chance of finding another permanent spouse can more easily find temporary spouses to serve the need of companionship. Similarly, youth who are too young for the responsibilities of permanent marriage but in danger of committing sin may lawfully meet in a Mut’a marriage.
This last case does not give freedom for youth to freely mingle with the
opposite sex and have intercourse. A condition mitigating against this
abuse is the requirement that a virgin female have permission of her
father to enter any marriage relationship, including Mut’a, unless the
father is found to be one who is unreasonable in that regard. It is
further commonly required that a condition of the marriage be that sex
shall not take place.
Mut’a is the way to avoid sin when permanent marriage is not possible.
Some Muslims today commit sin prior to their marriage with the person
that they are engaged to. Islam is clear that, between men and women,
touching, viewing parts of each other’s bodies that should be covered,
and visiting while unescorted are sins unless they are closely related
or married.
Engagement is not marriage, yet couples involve themselves in this
behavior that should take place only in marriage. The logical
alternative to avoid sin is simply to have a temporary marriage prior to
the permanent marriage so that the couple can make sure they are suited
to each other.
Mut’a is often referred to as a pleasure marriage and is compared to
prostitution. The man pays the woman a dowry and they enjoy each other
and then move on. But, in truth, Mut’a probably more often occurs
without any sex than it does solely for the purpose of sexual
gratification. Mut’a, unlike permanent marriage, may have conditions
put on it, including the most common one, which is that no sex shall
take place.
Thus, its purpose is companionship and getting to know the other person and not just sexual pleasure. Mut’a is different than prostitution in that it is a union before God, and any children resulting will be legitimate. It is in all senses of the word a marriage. Just as in permanent marriage, the woman has a waiting period after the end of the marriage before she can take another spouse. The waiting period serves many purposes including making sure of any paternity, avoiding running into another relationship too soon, and giving the couple time to reconcile.
A woman is unlikely to be able to make a living from Mut’a, because
she could legally have less than half a dozen partners in a year. In
this way, it is clearly unlike prostitution. Payment of a dowry does
take place in Mut’a, but it is unlike prostitution because the payment
is not for sex, but rather it is identical in purpose to the dowry given
in permanent marriage. It is further unlike prostitution because a man
is not supposed to marry one with loose morals and, according to
Ayatollah Sistani, is forbidden to marry any non-Muslim woman in
temporary marriage if he is already married to a Muslim woman. In Sayyid
Muhammad Rizvi’s book Marriage and Morals in Islam, the temporary and
need-only aspects of Mut’a are strongly emphasized:
“I cannot overemphasize the temporary nature of Mut’a. The message of
Islam is quite clear: marry on a permanent basis; if that is not
possible, then adopt temporary abstinence; if that is not possible, only
then use the Mut’a marriage.
The temporary nature of Mut’a can also be seen from the following
saying of the Imams: Once ‘Ali bin Yaqtin, a prominent Shi’ah who held a
high post in Abbasid government, came to Imam ‘Ali ar-Riza to ask about
Mut’a. The Imam said, “What have you to do with it because Allah has
made you free from its need.” (Wasa’il, vol. 14, p. 449) He has also
said, “It is permitted and absolutely allowed for the one whom Allah
has not provided with the means of permanent marriage so that he may be
chaste by performing Mut’a. (Wasa’il, vol. 14, p. 449-450)”
Personally, I have known a handful of women involved in temporary
marriage, all of whom were converts. The rumors of blatant misuse of the
marriage are not to be found with those I have known, but there were
problems. I think, in each case these marriages were too long. What I
mean is that temporary marriage is supposed to be just that --temporary.
But in all cases that I have personal knowledge of, they extended for
years, often in a series of repeated temporary marriages.
Two-thirds of the time the wife was kept secret from family, friends, and/or community because of the stigma and judgment that would result. Thus, when someone unexpectedly came to the door, the wife had to hide in a back room or closet silently until the guest could be taken care of. The longer the relationship persisted, the more the woman became attached to the man and secretly hoped for permanent marriage, and some resented having to hide if they were one of the ones kept secret.
Often the men provided just enough hope of a permanent marriage that the
women stuck around, but years passed and no long term commitment was
made, no permanent marriage plans arose -- but another temporary
marriage was offered. In public, the women frequently had to say they
were unmarried because the temporary marriage was unknown. For some, the
end result was a happy permanent marriage or a happy parting but that
was not always the case. Ultimately, being temporary rather than
permanent spouses seemed to these women to indicate a partial rejection
by their husbands even if there was no other reason to believe that to
be the case. The women just wanted more.
I do not wish to paint the men who choose temporary marriage even for
prolonged periods in a bad light. In nearly all cases they are trying to
do right and love their wives. Their dilemma often stems from the
rejection they find or anticipate from their family and society because
of the race or nationality of their spouse, or because they found each
other without the traditional arrangement done by the family. Or often,
they were initially only able to pursue a temporary marriage and not a
permanent one and had to hide their marriage because of the very
negative reactions and rejection they would receive from people,
especially family, if it were made public. I sympathize with the desire
to want both your family and your wife. In the end, these men often have
to choose one or the other.
Rightfully, they should not have to choose. People should accept a
man’s choice in spouse regardless of her race or nationality, especially
if she is a pious woman. And people should not allow stigma to exist
upon those who find the need for temporary marriage. This stigma has no
place on something that was made lawful by God and the Prophet (saw) and
even encouraged or mandated when sin is the likely alternative. Mut’a
has a place in society and the need for it is not altogether uncommon.
It is a gross error to accept fornication and adultery more easily than
Mut’a.
People suffer because of the stigmas that others hold. Just as in a
monogamous permanent marriage, polygamous and temporary marriages can
contain abuse and bad outcomes. It is the abuse that should be
stigmatized, and not the marriages themselves. In fact, stigmatizing the
marriages causes abuse within them to be more likely because it makes it
more likely that the marriages will be done in secret. Therefore, if you
are concerned about misuse of the temporary and polygamous marriages,
then let them out of the closet and into the realm of the public. One
can only remove a stigma through conscious and deliberate effort within
oneself. Although past damage cannot be fully repaired, future damage
can be prevented if more people, perhaps starting with the reader
him/herself, would be active and audible in their support of polygamous
and temporary marriage and those individuals who pursue them lawfully.
The Sexes
Just the other day I saw a promo for a TV show called “Battle of the
Sexes”. It caught my attention because it was filled with images of the
Muslim world. Pictures of women wearing black garments that showed only
their eyes went along with images of a woman being placed in a chastity
belt, which also went along with images of Arab men shooting large guns.
The accompanying words lead the viewer to imagine the large guns as
phallic symbols. Having been Muslim for a few years now, I was disturbed
by these images because they portrayed the relationship between Muslim
men and Muslim women very negatively, and in my opinion, very
incorrectly. Later, I watched the show to see exactly what it had to say
about Islam and the sexes. As it turned out, ninety percent of the show
was about the Modern West or Medieval Europe and only a small portion
was about the Muslim world, although the promo certainly lead the viewer
to expect otherwise.
Why was the promo so skewed? A likely answer is that those stereotype
images of Islam are attractive to viewers and thus serve as
ratings-boosters. People remember those images and the associations made
with them and tend to believe them. Many people who see these images are
led to believe they know a lot more about the Muslim world than they do.
For example, if Saudi Arabia comes up in discussion, you can find
someone who will say, “Oh, I know all about that place and how they hate
Americans. Did you know that the women there have to walk ten feet
behind the men?” And when you tell them that there is absolutely no
truth to that claim, they do not want to believe you because you are not
as authoritative as the media is. “No, I am right, I saw it on Nightline
or CNN.” “I read it in the New York Times.”
It is no wonder that so few Americans ever think to pick up a
translation of the Qur’an when the religion looks so bad to them. Yet,
everyday, more men and women in America choose Islam. These men and
women have concluded that the stereotype view of how Islam regards the
sexes is inaccurate.
Islamic Modest Dress
When you picture a Muslim, you are likely to picture an Arab. You may
see a long-bearded man with a white robe and a checkered headdress and a
woman covered from head to toe in black so that only her eyes, if that,
are visible. The prospect of dressing like that is often quite
frightening to the convert. Is that what Islam really requires? And if
so, why is it required?
To the person investigating Islam, the answer is initially not that
easy to find. When a convert reads a translation of Qur’an, he/she finds
the verses on dress hard to understand. Further, the convert finds
hadith and proponents of those hadith which say a multitude of
different things on the subject. Personally, I think a reliable hadith
is one in which the Prophet (saw) indicated that women should cover all
but their hands and face. And I think the most telling Qur’anic verses
are 24:30-31.
*** “And tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That
is purer for them. Lo! Allah is Aware of what they do. And tell the
believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of
their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils
over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own
husbands….”***
*** ***
It is important that the men are first directed to lower their gaze and
be modest. Men have a large responsibility in maintaining proper respect
and treatment of women and to prevent wrongdoing. Women have a similar
role, but they are further directed to display only certain parts of
their bodies. Technically, even Muslim men have certain parts of their
bodies they are supposed to cover, but those aren’t mentioned in these
verses.
It is not totally clear to the average reader what part of a woman’s
adornment is “apparent” but a logical argument could be made that those
are the parts that she has reason to uncover. It is logical to have her
hands uncovered because she is always using her hands to hold things and
carry things. It is possible to argue the same about the face because
she uses it to talk, eat and see. But for any other body part there is
not much reason that it would need to be uncovered.
The next phrase gives us further indication as to what is “apparent”.
It tells the women to draw their veils over their chests. So the reader
must ask, what is the veil? It is something that begins above the chest
area because it would otherwise not make sense to use the word “draw”.
The word “draw” in that phrase indicates that something beginning at
least at her shoulders if not higher is to be closed over the chest so
that the chest itself does not show.
If this verse were only requiring that the chest be covered, the
mention of a specific garment to cover it is unnecessary because
ordinary clothes could be adequate. Since a specific garment is
mentioned, we are led to believe that that garment itself covers more
than just the chest.
Thus we conclude that the word translated as “veil” means what we
typically take the word “veil” to mean: Something which covers the head.
Thus, this phrase of the verse is directing the women to take their head
covers and make sure their neck and chest area is also covered.
This makes even greater sense when we consider the word “adornment”. A
woman’s adornment clearly would indicate her bosom, but it even more
likely indicates her hair. Without a doubt, a woman’s hair is one of her
greatest adornments. Women take pride and great effort in styling their
hair and making it look appealing. This, along with the fact that there
is no logical reason why she needs to have her hair uncovered, serves as
a great indication that it is part of her adornment to be covered
according to this verse.
What about the face? Numerous traditions can be found which indicate
the face is to be covered, but numerous can be found to the contrary.
Many of the modern scholars do not seem to think it is required, but
many also say it is not a bad idea if the woman finds herself in a place
where it is customary to do so or if not doing so would cause a hardship
to her.
The question is “Why all this covering anyway?” The Bible makes
reference to women covering their hair in church or in public and
clearly indicates that the veiling is a mark of status for her. In the
Bible, women cover as a sign of the male’s superiority. But in Islam,
this is absolutely not the case.
Women cover simply to help ensure that they receive the respectful
treatment they deserve and it has nothing to do with superiority or
inferiority. Islam considers men and women as equal before God but
acknowledges that being equal does not mean being the same. Men and
women are different and to ignore those differences is oppressive to
women. Although it is not often thought of this way, the modern world is
oppressive to women in making them compete in the working world with men
by acting just like men and neglecting their differences. Or, by
acknowledging the differences, but using them to treat women as
decorations and trophies in the workplace instead of equally deserving
and capable employees.
Women in Islamic modest dress, (loose clothing that covers all but hand
and face in any cultural style), are recognized as pious,
business-minded women on sight. When I decided to wear the Islamic
modest dress I was very surprised at what I experienced. I found people
opening doors for me more than ever before, offering to help me carry
parcels, and cleaning up their language around me. I realized that men
talked to me differently. I never realized that even “good” guys had
been looking at my body while talking to me until I put on the hijab
and they suddenly were no longer doing it. They talked to me as if I
were more intelligent, too.
More importantly, I felt better about myself. I had been very worried about how people would react and I found that instead of being treated worse I was being treated better than before. Up to that point, I did not fully understand the reasons for hijab, but seeing the positive results first hand, I was instantly and utterly convinced that it truly is a good thing and not oppressive at all. I knew I was safer in hijab.
If I were to walk down the worst street in New York with a friend
wearing a T-shirt and jeans, my friend would be whistled at and
harassed, even groped at and called names. But me, I get called
“sister”, and the men lower their gazes instead of staring, and step out
of my way. Many women fret over dressing a little different than their
non-Muslim counterparts, but they shouldn’t. The negative reactions they
anticipate are largely exaggerated and in fact, they will find increased
respect from their counterparts when they are practicing as they
believe.
A woman may find it unfair that she is asked to cover because some men
can’t control themselves, but this is analogous to saying that it is
unfair that she has to lock her house and car because some thieves can’t
control themselves. Hijab in practice is not burdensome in my
experience, but is rather a remover of burdens.
All Muslim scholars are unanimous that these verses refer to a covering
that includes covering of hair. But if you want to find a verse that
says “Women must cover the hair” you won’t find it, perhaps because the
covering of hair was something already in practice among some women so
that when the word translated as “veils” was used, the meaning was
obvious.
The hadith are more explicit and go into more detail by stating that
a woman should cover all but hands and face. And if we look into the
hadith referring to the Lady Fatimah (as), the daughter of the Prophet
(saw) we find that she also covered all but hands and face, and may have
on occasion covered her face also but did not all the time. She is
certainly our best example of how to live and dress and act as women in
this world.
Other verses in Qur’an about the woman’s Islamic modest dress are 24:60
and 33:59.
“Such elderly women as are past the prospect of marriage, there is no
blame on them if they lay aside their outer garments, provided they make
not a wanton display of their beauty; but it is best for them to be
modest and God is One who sees and knows all things.”
“O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters and the believing women that
they should cast their outer garments over their persons when abroad
that is convenient that they should be known and as such not molested.
And God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
So the believing women are being advised to wear an outer covering
beyond what they would wear in the home when they go out, and this is
the hijab.
Based on 24:60, the covering of those parts mandated to be covered in
24:30-31 is not to be relaxed except in age past possibility of
marriage, and then it is still better not to do so.
Mixing of the Sexes
A very close cousin to the subject of Islamic modest dress is the
subject of casual mixing of the sexes. According to Islam, men and women
should not interact socially, especially one-on-one. This concept seems
very strict and extreme to many in the West. When I grew up, all my best
friends were boys and I never had many girl friends. And now I am not
supposed to have male friends? That is not entirely true. But
interaction with males should be business-like.
We’ve all seen the consequences of unbusiness-like behavior with friends
of the opposite sex. Attraction at some level is a common result, and
this leads to trouble in marriages. Maybe it will not always cause your
spouse to be jealous or result in a fight, but it always does affect how
you view your spouse or future mate. You find things in your friends
that you like better than the way your spouse is. You imagine yourself
with someone other than your spouse, and that is damaging even if you do
not take it seriously. “Falling out of love” with your spouse is
absolute nonsense. It only happens if you let it happen. Thus, if you
have a class or job with members of the opposite sex, fine. You can
greet them and participate in the appropriate work-related discussions
or small talk but should avoid deep personal conversations.
The issue of mixing at the mosque is one that regularly comes up in the
Muslim communities. Some of the men and women want to sit together
rather than in different rooms or one in front of the other. In my
opinion, if they want to have everyone in the same room with women on
one side and men on the other, fine, but then someone should be at the
door handing out Islamic dress so that everyone is properly attired.
The mosque is a place for worship and not a place for absentmindedly
admiring the opposite sex. And it is impossible to say truthfully that
you can have men and women together in a place, without concern for
proper dress, and not have at least some thoughts about the other sex
result. Therefore, let them sit side-by-side if they must, but only if
they all put on proper Islamic attire before entering the room. Then,
when they leave the mosque, if they take it off and choose to mingle and
interact, it is their own responsibility.
I do not see any oppression or unfairness in separating sexes at the
mosque. However, I do have a problem with the many mosques that provide
substandard facilities for women as if they were an afterthought. This
usually results when the facilities are being converted from some
previous structure such as a church or home. Women should be able to
easily hear what is going on, and it is preferable that they can see,
too.
I have seen some communities install audiovisual systems so that the prayers and sermons were on speakers that all could hear; and they used closed circuit TV so that the women could also see the speakers. In question-and-answer sessions, properly attired women with questions could enter the back of the men’s area so that they could be called on, or another reasonable system could be devised.
Too many mosques have horrible or non-existent facilities for women and
then wonder why some of their women are not knowledgeable or interested
in the religion or are being misguided. Communities like the one I
mentioned earlier in which the women couldn’t see or hear and many could
not understand the language being used are the ones which find their
next generations rejecting practice of Islam and moving away.
Most Muslim communities struggle to even have a mosque let alone have
good facilities for women, but I maintain that they should not build a
mosque that does not serve their women well. Similarly, Muslim
communities ideally should provide facilities for both the men and women
to participate in community activities such as sports. It is not fair to
the Muslim girl in the West who takes swimming lessons and gymnastics
lessons every year from when she is three or four to be told on her
ninth birthday that she can’t do those things anymore.
It is like punishing the girl for becoming baligh (Islamically of age
to be responsible for dress, prayer, etc.), when instead it should be
something she can be happy about. How nice it would be if more Muslim
communities that are able should rent or build facilities and hire
single-sex staff so that their men and women can enjoy swimming and
other sports. Communities could develop single-sex sports leagues along
with training for the many who did not have opportunities to learn the
sports earlier. I cannot stress enough the need for the Muslim women and
Muslim children to be an active part of their community and to have full
access to learning and recreation. It is essential to the well being and
survival of Islam in the West.
Treating Women Differently in the Law
The last things I wish to discuss with regard to women in Islam are
instances in which women are treated differently in Islamic law. Many of
these may seem unfair at first glance but most really are not. Probably
all of us have heard stories of women being punished for crimes
differently than men or inheriting less and so on. There are cases when
women and men alike are not treated fairly according to Islam even in
countries with a predominantly Muslim population and whose laws are
supposed to be based on Islam. The rest of the Muslim world owes it to
the oppressed brothers and sisters and to themselves to combat these
injustices when they become known.
Thankfully, most Muslim women do not face such oppression and
experience an Islamic society closer to the ideal. All Muslim societies
believe in the Holy Qur’an, and thus believe in the verses which talk
about women inheriting less than men, not serving as equal witness with
men, and being punished by their husbands. The Western reader finds
these verses or hears about them and instantly thinks of oppression. But
again, those men and women who choose Islam find the matters
differently.
In the case of inheritance, it is actually a complex issue and there
are cases in which women inherit more than men. As a general rule, the
men do inherit more, but only because their financial burden is far
greater than women’s are. To not give men more would actually be
oppressive to them because their duties with their money are more
severe. Muslim men are required to financially provide for their wives,
children, elderly parents and so on.
This is regardless of whether the wife works or not. In addition he must
provide his spouse with a marriage dowry. On the other hand, whatever
money the wife has she can spend in any way she likes. She could spend
it entirely on herself if she wanted and has no duty to spend it on
anyone else. In comparison to Judeo-Christian law on inheritance and
ownership of women, Islam is extremely generous.
As for women serving as witnesses, again the issue is more complex than
it first seems. In some cases when witnesses are needed, either one man
or two women is required. But in other cases, only the witness of a
single woman will do. Since men are required to work and women are not,
cases that involve business are more likely to require two women
witnesses.
This could be a matter of protection for the women, because in matters of money there is the temptation of coercing the witness. Having two female witnesses helps protect either woman from coercion. Men can be coerced, too, but it is undoubtedly, in most cases, easier for a man to threaten and intimidate a woman than another man.
On the other hand, many times only a woman’s witness is accepted, as may
be the case when giving testimony about female anatomy. Or it may even
override a man’s testimony, as is the case when a man accuses a woman of
lewd behavior and she denies it according to Qur’an 24:6-11.
Islam is a religion designed to serve all people in all times. Thus,
many of its laws are built upon what is best for most people. Thus, it
does not deny that some women may earn more than their husbands, or that
some men may be coerced easier than some women. The laws still apply
even in these cases, because applying them in these cases hurts no one.
On the other hand, failure to apply the laws for those women who do not
earn money or who might be coerced would be harmful.
A third case that is presented as oppressive to women is in 4:34 of the
Holy Qur’an:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because God has
given the one more strength than the other, and because they support
them from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly
obedient and guard in their husband’s absence what God would have them
guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and
ill-conduct, admonish them first, next refuse to share their beds, and
last beat them lightly; but if they return to obedience, seek not
against them means of annoyance.”
This translation, by Yusuf Ali, is more clear than many in getting
across that the man is not given free reign to abuse his wife. This
verse actually tells a lot about the Islamic family arrangement. Men are
duty-bound to protect and maintain their spouses. This duty falls on
them because they are generally stronger and more suited to such work.
Further, they do not have the circumstances of menstruation, pregnancy,
birth, and breast-feeding that many women experience.
In return for protection and maintenance, women are not required to bear
children or cook or clean. They have not a single duty required of them
in return, except two -- and those are simply to obey the husband in all
that is reasonable and not contrary to Islam and to guard the husband’s
property and their own chastity when their husband is not present. That
really is not a lot to ask and it is likely that the women have got the
better deal.
But, what of the last part of the verse that talks about beating women?
Many translations of this verse do not convey its full meaning, and so
it appears to the reader that a husband who is displeased with his wife
is permitted to beat her. Truly, he cannot touch her in anger, ever. If
she has done something wrong, he is to simply tell her so and let her
know that he is displeased. If she persists, then he may sleep in a
different bed, and if she still persists, then he may lightly hit her.
What does it mean to lightly hit? To answer that, see the answer of the Prophet (saw) who was asked the very same question. His reply indicated that she cannot be hit on the face at all and not even redness is to result. The “hitting” is supposed to be more symbolic than actually painful, and done with a feather or miswak (kind of toothbrush). The husband has to take several steps over a period of days because he must first try the other two before coming to the third. Thus, it must be a problem of a serious and recurring nature. And, if he is upset with his wife because of her adherence to Islam, he can do nothing.
For example, he can do nothing if she wears hijab and he doesn’t like
it. This verse is revealed for the case of severely wrong behavior on
the part of the wife and nothing else. Ayatollah Sistani has indicated
that this beating can be done only related to severe problems concerning
sexual intimacy or her travel without his permission after all other
steps have been faithfully fulfilled, and he further says that a man
cannot beat his wife in a way that physically harms her or he has to pay
“blood money”.
When such problems in a marriage exist, it is possible that divorce
will result. Contrary to popular belief among non-Muslims, a Muslim man
cannot divorce his wife simply by saying so three times in immediate
succession. He says it once and then the couple must go through a
considerable period in which they may separate and try to reconcile.
During this time, he is still required to provide for her just as he
always has. Actually, there are some circumstances in which he is not
permitted to pronounce divorce at all, one of them being while his wife
is menstruating.
The woman also has the right to divorce if she is facing any
mistreatment by her husband by going to a legal representative. In that
way, the woman pursuing divorce is nearly exactly like it is in many
American states. The person wanting the divorce must file a case giving
a reason for wanting the divorce, and then the case is examined by the
law to determine if grounds for divorce do indeed exist. For the men, it
is easier to begin the process of divorce in Islam. And, if he initiates
it, a no-fault divorce is possible after efforts to reconcile fail. If a
divorce results, he cannot lay any claim to his wife’s property, even
that which he had given her, no matter how wealthy she may be.
In practice, it is sometimes made too difficult for the woman to obtain
a divorce and too easy for the man. It is difficult for some women to
obtain access to truly Islamic legal representation. When the Muslim
divorce system fails, the religion is blamed. Actually, if the divorce
system were managed the way Islam directs, it would never fail. There
are reliable hadith that the Prophet (saw) granted divorces for
reasons as simple as the wife not finding the husband physically
attractive. There is no question that a divorce should be granted in
cases of abuse.
Finally, I will briefly mention male and female circumcision.
Circumcision for Muslim males is enjoined for cleanliness and for the
same reasons it is enjoined among Christians and Jews. Some Muslims also
practice female circumcision in a variety of forms. There is a lot of
debate as to whether this is an Islamic or cultural practice. There is
no reference to the Prophet (saw) advising circumcision of women or of
its practice among his family.
There is a hadith of the Prophet (saw) that mentions female
circumcision, but I am not qualified to judge its authenticity and
reports I have read cast serious doubt on its authenticity. Assuming it
is authentic, for the sake of argument, this hadith tells believers
that if they do practice female circumcision they must only remove a
very small amount of foreskin. In any case, it is clear that removal of
sexual organs, sewing up the woman to ensure virginity, and performing
the procedure with unsterile equipment and lack of medical training are
all not approved of in Islam and rather are considered as evil
practices.
Regrettably, it is not too hard to find room for improvement in the
practice of Islam the world over. This includes treatment of women.
However, to maintain that Islam is oppressive to women is to maintain an
absolute fallacy. It is similarly erroneous to maintain that most
Muslims propagate oppressive beliefs and behavior. Upon careful
examination, Islam reveals itself as the most just system of living
available to mankind. Further, most Muslims are sincere in seeking
proper implementation of Islam rather than twisting it to satisfy
personal gain.
Division Among Muslims
The topic of division within Islam is a sore spot for the world of
Muslims. It is easy to find Muslims polarized on this issue and acting
with great emotion and vigor trying to prove their views. In the minds
of these Muslims, those who adhere to a different group are in gross
error and have purposely twisted the meanings of true Islam to their own
ends.
It is disappointing to converts when they find that Islam is not the
unified religion it first appears to be. For me, a sense of dread
enveloped me when I began to encounter religious factions within Islam.
It was dread, because I was still mentally exhausted from the process of
conversion to Islam, and yet here I was faced with different versions of
Islam to sort out. I would again have to engage myself in serious study,
prayer for guidance and self-evaluation to try and determine which of
the factions, if any, were truthful. The discovery of division did not
raise any doubt in me about Islam itself, but it raised doubt that any
one group was in possession of true Islam. I had to consider the
possibility of being a Muslim without a school just as I had had to
consider being a Christian without a church.
The various schools of Islam sometimes harbor bad blood toward each
other. And thus, it is not unusual to find books written by a scholar
from one faction viciously defaming another faction to the point of
calling it non-Muslim. Similarly, members from one faction will chastise
members of another faction for causing disunity, when in truth neither
group seeks disunity. After all, you cannot blame someone for pursuing
what he/she finds to be true, even if it is different than what you find
true.
I advise all Truth-seekers to stay away from those who speak viciously
of other groups and accuse them of all sorts of misguidance and
wrongdoing. Avoid their interpretations of the writings from the
questionable “other” group. Instead, read their writings about their own
beliefs.
As I have alluded to earlier, those who would find the Truth need to
investigate all groups with an open mind and fairness. They should read
works about a group written by numerous scholars and members of that
group. They should judge a group by its own writings and teachings
rather than other groups’ interpretations of such. They should not
neglect study of a group because of its reputation or small numbers.
They should not hesitate to ask questions of members of each group but
should not take the answer of one person as representative of all
members of the group.
It is each person’s duty, Muslim or not, no matter into what religion
or school they were born, to determine for themselves where truth lies.
They should not be satisfied that their own religion, culture, nation,
or school holds the truth without extensive verification.
“…They say, ‘We follow that wherein we found our fathers.’ What! Even
though their fathers were wholly unintelligent and had no guidance?”
2:170
Personally, I found a good place to start a study of all that is within
Islam to be the Internet. Although it takes some effort to find it, it
is possible to find good-quality information presented by each group
that explains what they believe and why they believe it. You can also
find lots of information about what they believe to be wrong with the
other groups, but that type of information has to be regarded very
carefully.
In my own study, I began first with the largest group, the Sunnis, and
ultimately was not fully satisfied with any of the Sunni schools for the
same reason that I was not satisfied with Christianity. For Sunnis,
after the death of the Prophet (saw), religion came to the hands of
ordinary, even if well-intentioned, men and thus the major sources of
Sunni law come from such men. I also was unsatisfied that four schools
within Sunni Islam should be considered as equally acceptable.
As a believer in a single Absolute truth and in a God who provides the
means to that Truth, I strongly hold that minor differences in law do
matter and that one way must be preferable to others. I could not accept
using fallible collections of traditions of the Holy Prophet (saw), each
of which contain numerous contradictory traditions and traditions which
come from unreliable sources, as a primary source of the religion. Just
like the Bible, the numerous errors and contradictions of the Sunni
hadith (tradition) collections make them unreliable as a determiner of
Truth. They are not from Allah (swt), but from men.
“If it had been from other than Allah they would have found therein
much incongruity.” (4:82)
I do believe that traditions have a very important place in Islam but I
feel that no collection of traditions should be regarded as sahih
(error-free). And I also believe that traditions from those who
demonstrate themselves to be the best Muslims should be preferred over
those narrated by any other individuals.
The Sunnis largely consider ijtihad or the means of determining right
and wrong in any new cases, to be dead. The scholars rely on
centuries-old books for ijtihad and, as such, do not truly have access
to modern rulings about modern situations. Thus, the Sunni Muslims are
left to make their own decisions on new matters that arise. So, once
again, there is no way for them to satisfactorily determine right or
wrong on any new problem. The quest for Absolute truth has failed.
As for other groups, I found many of them also to be unacceptable but I
shall avoid discussing them in detail for the sake of brevity. The
reader may wish to engage in his/her own study of Ismailis, Ahmadis,
Nation of Islam, Qadanis, Fatimids, Bohras, Wahabis and Ja’faris.
After a detailed study, I chose the Ja’fari school of Islam because I
found that it alone met my criteria. I shall briefly discuss some of the
information and factors, which led to my choice, but I do not intend
thereby to provide enough information to convince anyone of its
correctness (that would take more pages than this entire book). Each
person has a duty to conduct their own bias-free (or as near to that as
possible) and detailed study of where Truth lies.
During the lifetime of the Prophet (saw), Allah (swt) appointed twelve
successors after the prophet who would uphold the religion and prevent
its corruption. The first of these successors was publicly appointed at
Ghadeer Khum, a short time before the death of the Prophet (saw), in
front of 90,000 to 140,000 witnesses. Two Qur’anic verses were revealed
on that day and the event of that day has been recorded more times and
by more sources than any other.
“O Messenger! Make known that which hath been revealed unto thee from
thy Lord, for if thou do not, thou will not have conveyed His message.”
(5:67)
*** ***
“This day have I perfected your religion for you and completed My
favor unto you, and have chosen for you as religion Al-Islam [submission
to the One God].” (5:3 )
*** ***
The first verse is a command to announce what the Prophet (saw) had to
announce at Ghadeer Khum, and the second is a statement that upon the
finishing of this announcement Islam has been completed and perfected.
What the Prophet (saw) said, according to the scholars of all schools of
Islam, is as follows:
“O men and women! Allah is my master. I am the master of the faithfuls.
I have a clear authority over their souls, and of whoever I am the
master, Ali [his cousin whose hand he was upholding while speaking] is
master. O Allah! Love him who loves Ali, hate him who hates Ali.”
Muslim, vol.2, p.325 and many others
Further in verse 5:55, Allah says in meaning:
“Your mawla (master) can be only Allah; and His messenger and those
who believe, who establish worship and pay the poor due while bowing
down in prayer.”
It is virtually unanimous among all leading scholars of any school of
thought that this verse refers to Allah, the Prophet (saw), and Ali. Ali
(as) is the one for whom it has been recorded in the traditions that he
gave charity (in the form of a ring he was wearing) while bowing in
prayer.
The disagreement arises over the definition of the word “mawla” because
it can mean master or friend. But, in the context of Ghadeer Khum, it is
clear that it means master, because it is clear that when the Prophet
(saw) is speaking of Allah (swt) and himself he means the master sense
of the word. Otherwise the phrase “I have a clear authority over their
souls…” would be out of place.
And it also makes no sense to stop thousands of people in the middle of
a hot desert to announce that Ali (as) is a friend. After saying this at
Ghadeer Khum, the Qur’anic verse came which announced that Islam had
been completed and perfected. This also would not make any sense if he
had merely said that Ali was a friend. But, it makes perfect sense if he
had just announced that Ali (as) had authority over the people equal to
his own authority.
Nearly all Muslim scholars believe in the concept of Imamate, i.e., the
successor of the Prophet (saw) that upholds and protects the religion
from corruption. The Sunnis generally hold that the first four Imams
were the first four Caliphs and do not know who the remainder are. But
clearly this is unacceptable, as the Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: “The
person who dies and has not known the Imam of his time has died the same
as one who died during the Age of Ignorance.” (Sahih Bukhari vol. 5, p.
13; Sahih Muslim vol. 6, p. 21 No. 1849; and others) This hadith
clearly indicates that all people in all times, including our time,
should know our Imam.
The view that the first caliphs were imams is questionable since God
did not appoint the caliphs into their positions. The first caliph was
chosen in a small private election that took place while the family of
the Prophet (saw) was busy with the Prophet’s burial. Others took power
by being appointed by their predecessor. There is no evidence in any
Qur’anic verse or hadith that the successors of the Prophet (saw)
should be chosen by election or personal appointment. Rather, the
evidence is to the contrary that Allah (swt) has chosen and appointed
those who would lead mankind, just as He has done throughout history.
“You will never find a change in the practice of Allah.” (35:43)
The Prophet first presented the message of Islam to his near relatives
and even at that early date he introduced Ali as “my brother, my
successor, and my caliph.” The Prophet again introduced Ali to the
people (as successor) on numerous occasions concluding with Ghadeer
Khum. The appointment of Ali was therefore no secret.
This is only a very small portion of my study concerning Ali (as) that
led me to believe that he was appointed successor of the Prophet (saw)
and that obeying him was made compulsory. For one who demands more
proof, there are many books dedicated solely to establishing that God
did indeed establish Imams or guides on earth including twelve after the
death of the Prophet (saw), the first of which was Imam Ali (as).
Among the leaders of Sunni schools and among the Imams of the Ismailis
and so on, it is possible to find examples of sin and teachings
contradicting the Qur’an. This is to be expected from ordinary men, but
not from those appointed by Allah (swt) to uphold the religion. One set
of Imams, those twelve followed by the Ja’fari school, are singular in
their adherence to Qur’an and lack of sin.
There are reliable hadith (records of the Prophet’s (saw) words and
actions) in the Sunni books that the Imams will be twelve in number.
Further there are some which name them all, and they are named in
accordance with the Ja’fari (Shia) belief. A few of these traditions are
quoted here from Peshawar Nights:
(1) Sheikh Sulayman Balkhi Hanafi in his Yanabiu’l-Mawadda, ch.76,
reports from Fara’idu’s-Simtain of Hamwaini, who reports from Mujahid,
who reports from Ibn Abbas, that a Jew named Na’thal came to the Holy
Prophet and asked him questions about Tawhid (Unity of Allah). The Holy
Prophet answered his questions and the Jew embraced Islam. Then he said:
“O Holy Prophet, every prophet had a wasi (vicegerent). Our Prophet,
Moses Bin Imran, made a will for Yusha Bin Nun. Please tell me who is
your wasi?” The Holy Prophet said:
“My vicegerent is Ali Bin Abi Talib; after him are Hasan, and Husain
and after them are nine Imams, who are the successive descendants of
Husain.”
* *
Na’thal asked the Holy Prophet the names of those Imams. The Holy
Prophet said: “After Husain, his son, Ali, will be the Imam; after him
his son, Muhammad; after him his son, Ja’far; after him his son Musa;
after him his son, Ali; after him his son, Muhammad; after him his son,
Hasan; after him his son, Muhammad Mahdi will be the last Imam. There
will be twelve Imams.”
* *
In addition to the names of the nine Imams, this hadith further
states that each would succeed as Imam after his father. Na’thal made
further inquiries, and the Holy Prophet described the manner of death of
each Imam.
Then Na’thal said, “I bear witness that there is no god but Allah and
that you are His Holy Prophet. I bear witness that these twelve holy
Imams are your vicegerents after you. What you have said is exactly what
is recorded in our books and in the will of Moses.”
Then the Holy Prophet said: “Paradise is for him who loves them and
obeys them, and Hell is for him who is hostile to them and opposes
them.”
* *
Na’thal then recited some couplets to the effect that “May Allah, the
Exalted, shower His blessings upon you, chosen Prophet and pride of the
Bani Hashim. Allah has guided us by means of you and the twelve holy men
whom you have named. Certainly Allah has purified them and preserved
them from impurity. He who loves them is successful. He who hates them
is the loser.
The last of the Imams will quench the thirst of the thirsty. He is the
one the people will wait for. Prophet of Allah, your progeny is a
blessing for me and for all the believers. Those who turn away from them
will soon be thrown into Hell.”
(2) The great scholar, Sheikh Sulayman Balkhi, in his
Yanabiu’l-Mawadda, ch. 76 reports from Manaqib of Khawarizmi, who
reports from Wathila Bin Asqa’ Bin Qarkhab, who reports Jabir Bin
Abdullah Ansari; and also Abu’l-Fazl Shaibani and he from Muhammad Bin
Abdullah Bin Ibrahim Shafi’i, who reports Jabir Ansari (one of the chief
companions of the Prophet) as saying: “Jundal Bin Junadab Bin Jubair, a
Jew, came to the Holy Prophet and asked him about Tawhid. After hearing
his reply, the man became a Muslim. He said that on the previous night
he had seen Moses in a dream telling him: ‘Embrace Islam at the hands of
the last of the prophets, Muhammad, and attach yourself to the
vicegerents after him.’ He thanked Allah for the blessing of Islam. He
then asked the Holy Prophet to tell him the names of his vicegerents.
The Holy Prophet began by saying: ‘My vicegerents are twelve in
number.’
The man said that he had seen this fact in the Torah. He asked the
Prophet to tell him their names, and the Prophet said: ‘The first of
them is the chief of the vicegerents, the father of the Imams, Ali. Then
follow his two sons - Hasan and Husain. You shall see these three. When
you reach the last stage of your life, Imam Zainu’l-Abidin will be born,
and the last thing that you have of this world shall be milk. So cling
to them so that ignorance may not mislead you.’
* *
The man said that he had seen in the Torah and in other scriptures the
names of Ali, Hasan, and Husain in their various forms. He asked the
Holy Prophet to tell him the names of the other Imams.
Then the Holy Prophet named the remaining nine Imams with their
epithets and added: ‘The last of them, Muhammad Mahdi, will live, but
disappear. He will appear later and will fill the world with justice and
equity, since it will have degenerated into injustice and tyranny.
Verily, Paradise is for those who show patience during the time of his
occultation. Paradise is for those who are firm in their love for him.
These are they whom Allah Almighty has praised in the Holy Qur’an and
for whom the Holy Qur’an is a ‘guide for those who guard (against evil).
Those who believe in the unseen.’ Also He says, ‘These are Allah’s
party: now surely the party of Allah are the successful ones.’”
(58:22)”
Still among the Muslims are those who do not believe in the sinlessness
of God’s messengers and guides. They say that those messengers and
guides do not commit any sin or mistake in delivering the message or
guidance but in other ways may commit fault. They also interpret
passages in the Qur’an to indicate sins on the part of some prophets.
There are numerous evidences contrary to that view, but such a belief is
also contrary to reason.
First of all, God is perfectly capable of providing messengers and
guides that do not commit fault. Secondly, if ever a messenger or guide
did commit fault, even outside the normal realm of his religious work,
it would affect his credibility and it would corrupt his purpose. Every
waking deed of the messengers and guides is watched and is under
scrutiny. If one of them did commit a sin, the followers would be likely
to see it. It then becomes a question of how the followers are supposed
to be able to tell which of the actions and sayings of that messenger or
guide they are to follow. Which actions are from God and which aren’t?
“Do what I say and not what I do” is inadequate for the deliverance and
protection of God’s message, and God does not do inadequate work.
The Ja’fari school alone met my standards of possessing one absolute
Truth derived from a God-protected source. Those who ultimately come to
a different conclusion are entitled to do so. Tolerance of those who
reach varied conclusions is the only action that agrees with the
behavior of the Holy Prophet (saw). Among all groups and schools of
Muslims are those who behave with very poor manners toward members of
other groups. They allow hate and ill will to cultivate in themselves
and justify their behavior by making a large list of grievances about
the other party. I would ask those people to find any example in the
demeanor of the Prophet of Islam (saw) or any prophet (sa) that matches
theirs. Even those who were the outright enemies of Islam, and rejected
it although its truth was apparent to them, were never treated
disrespectfully or cruelly, neither were they made the victims of
aggression, neither were they abused in any way, be it with physical
force or with words.
“… And let not hatred of any people seduce you that ye deal not
justly. Deal justly, that is nearer to your duty.” (5:8)
Jihad
More than any other religion, Islam has the reputation of being a
violent religion. Typically when some people think of Islam, they think
of terrorism. News reporters have commented on events in the Middle East
claiming that Muslims were acting out in a form of Holy War, or jihad.
And there are people out there who believe it is their duty to fight in
the name of Islam. However, news reporters are notorious for telling
only part of the story. There are several instances that I can
personally remember in which the news discussed how a certain group of
Muslims attacked another group of people. What they forgot to mention
was that group of people had attacked the Muslims a week ago. Since the
Oklahoma bombing, the press has become more careful about how it reports
incidents involving Muslims, but they still do not always get the story
right.
I think we first need to know what jihad means. The word jihad
actually refers to striving for the sake of religion and does not
translate as Holy War. For example, it is a personal jihad to struggle
against temptation to sin. The personal jihad is referred to as the
greater jihad and is given major importance in Islam. When jihad is
carried out as war, it is a struggle against those oppressing or
aggressing against Muslims and is referred to as the lesser jihad.
Lending to Islam’s violent reputation, many textbooks over the years
have claimed that Islam was spread by the sword. In truth, it is not
permitted to wage war in Islam except against those who have aggressed
against you or are oppressing you. In those cases, it becomes a duty for
able men to fight until the Muslims are again free. Unlike Christianity,
Islam does not always support turning the other cheek. When your lives
and well being are in danger, Islam says you should courageously defend
yourselves even if you would rather fearfully ignore that some of your
community members are being murdered or imprisoned or losing their jobs.
Turning the other cheek in such cases is to turn your eyes away from
suffering and wrongdoing and excuse it.
Most of the Muslim world consists of very peaceful people. But,
throughout history there have been Muslims who were active fighters. We
are quick to say these Muslims are wrong, but it is helpful to see
things from their perspective to understand why they feel they are
justified in their actions. Many people in the Middle East believe that
the West is oppressing them. Undoubtedly, the West looks out for its own
interests first and has done many questionable things to Third-World
countries. When it is convenient, the West takes (or borrows and then
wastes) land, takes or controls money, sides with immoral countries in
disputes, prevents medicine and food from reaching needy people, and
kills. The West controls trade and hastens to spread its culture, at the
loss of other cultures, throughout the world.
Some peoples are subject to the effect of the West’s mingling in world
affairs more than others and some feel they are being treated wrongly to
the point of oppression. And some of them are right. No matter what the
reasons, is it not oppressive that Iraqi children under sanction have
been denied nutritious food and basic medicine? Is it not oppressive
that the Palestinians who had been living in their land for centuries
were kicked out and not recompensed in any way? Surely if your children
were dying or your home was taken from you, there would be no question
that you were a subject of oppression and you would very likely want to
fight.
What are these people to do? First of all, Islam is against the use of
suicide tactics or cruel means such as biological warfare. Further, it
forbids attacking women and children. Further, those who feel they are
being oppressed may fail to see those that they have grievances against
are generally societies of mostly non-aggressive individuals. The
oppressors end up being a vague concept and an unclear body. For
example, the West and America are both vague terms made up of a huge
diversity of peoples. As a result of this problem of identifying the
enemy, the terrorists have made the mistake of hating and attacking
innocent people who have personally done nothing against the Muslims.
That being said, it should be realized that many distant or vague
reports of terrorism are more properly classified as legitimate
warfare.
Actually, in the absence of the Prophet (saw) or Imam (as) sent by God,
many Muslims are of the opinion that no one has the authority to declare
a jihad as an act of war, anyway. There is no truly Islamic government
on Earth, and thus there is no Islamic leader who clearly has the
authority to declare a war. Leaders of nations can declare war against
other nations, but not religious wars. Americans who hear of a religious
leader ordering attacks against the United States should understand that
most Muslims desire only peace and justice and are not swayed by any old
call by any old religious leader.
Ritualism
The last topic I wish to discuss in this section is that of the many
rituals in Islam. Why do Muslims pray a certain way, wash before prayer,
fast for a whole month, face one way in prayer, and slaughter their meat
in a particular way, etc.? To non-Muslims, being so concerned about
minor details may seem silly. Why should God care if I wash my feet or
just wipe them in preparation for prayer?
No one can deny that good habits are useful. Islamic ritual in part is
designed to aid in the formation of good habits and in remembering God
throughout our day-to-day lives. Following Islamic ritualistic practices
leads to good hygiene and diet and balance between spiritual, physical
and social aspects. The minute details may seem nit-picky, but taking
care in the details of ritual shows respect for the importance of
religion in all parts of life. Further, in many cases logical reasons
for the details exist. In particular, careful adherence to the forms of
the ritual often helps in understanding the purpose or meaning of the
ritual itself.
Modern Muslims are guilty of practicing their religion too often on a
purely ritualistic level. Performance of prayer without careful thought
to its meaning and purpose is very nearly meaningless and purposeless.
It is just an empty form of true prayer. Allah (swt) did not prescribe
rituals as a means to take up time but rather as a means of perfecting
our faith and attaining nearness to Him. A lifetime can be spent in
education and effort toward engaging oneself completely and properly in
all acts of worship.
However, a good place to start is conscious attention to the acts being
performed and their aims. For example, washing before prayer can be seen
as symbolically cleansing ourselves to face the Almighty. If one learns
the supplications that accompany the washing, it may add increased
meaning to the act and enable the performer to concentrate more on the
task at hand. If you don’t know the purpose behind a ritual it doesn’t
hurt to ask someone you regard as more pious or more knowledgeable than
yourself.
Concentration toward the spiritual aspects of prayer and other rituals
is difficult because our thoughts of worldly affairs tend to intrude.
But if we are persistent in our efforts, in time the task becomes easier
and we not only enjoy the activities more but benefit from them more as
well. If you don’t enjoy praying to God, this is an indication that your
attention to its true meanings and purpose are lacking.
Is not our ultimate goal in Muslim life to attain nearness to God or submission to His will? In this life, prayer is an opportunity to speak with Him Whom We Are Seeking, so it should be something we look forward to and not just a duty to be completed. If the heart is tired and your attention is not prepared for the ritual, then find steps to help you become prepared and if necessary, some recommend delaying the ritual awhile (so far as that does not mean committing a sin) until you can perform it better. Hopefully, continual use of this practice will cause the tiredness of the heart to decrease and you will be more easily prepared.