The Child's Education in Islam

Thirdly : Educating the Child On Obedince To the Parents

The parents have a greater role to play in educating the children because the responsibility is on them before any other thing and they determine the future personality of the child while the school and surrounding society play the secondary role of the child education.

If the child is not habituated with the obedience to the parents he will not accept their advices, guidance, educational and reformatory orders. He will then create a lot of problems for himself, the parents and the society. As a result of that, he will be insubordinate to the laws, customs and stipulated traditions by the country and the society.

Imam Al-Hassan bn Ali Al-Askari (peace be upon him) said: "The child's boldness to the parents in the childhood result to his disobedient when he grows up"[^7].

Imam Mohammad bn Ali Al-Baqir (peace be upon him) said: "..... The worst child is he whose negligence has leads him to disobedience"[^8].

Educating the child for obeying the parent needs continuous struggle to habituate him for that, because the child of this stage desire to build his personality and personal independence, therefore there is need of additional struggles from the side of the parents and the best means to habituates him on obedience is to let him feel of love and sympathy. DR. Yasri Abdul Muhsin says: (The most important factors that assist the child in obedience are love and sympathy, he observes from all the members of the family)[^9].

Satisfying the child's essential needs is among the means of making him obedient like (peace, love, appreciation, freedom and need for compressing power)[^10].

DR. Fakhir Aqil view this needs in the following form: (Need for self-assertion or stature, recognize him and his stature to be cautions of him ..... and the need for love peace and independence)[^11].

When the child feels love, sympathy and appreciation from the parents, he will try to satisfy the parents and obedience in substantial of satisfaction.

The parents are the foundation in educating the child for obedience. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "May Allah bless the parents that help their child for their obedience"[^12].

The means of assistance is as specified by the Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) "May Allah bless a servant that help his child for his obedience by doing good to him, harmonize with him teaches and educates him"[^13].

He (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "May Allah blessed he who assist his child for his obedience, that is to forgive his short-comings and prays for him for what is between him and Allah"[^14].

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "May Allah blessed he who helps his child for his obedience ..... He accepts his feasible and over-looks his short-comings; he does not oppress him nor encroach with him ....."[^15]

The children's love for their parents is the reaction of the parent's love for them[^16].

Verily obedience will occurred if love prevailed in the relations between the child and his parents. The children will obey the parent's orders if their orders are lenient, gentle and if it is inform of advices and guidance but if you apply reproach and tongue-lashing reverse will be the result, that is why the psychologist and the educationist advices parents to minimize tongue-lashing as it came from the saying of Anwar Jandi: (Tongue-lashing is aimed when an offence occurred because much tongue-lashing distress the hearing of the blamed one and lessen the cause of the utterances[^17].

The child that obtains love and appreciation will not deem obedience to parent's order as imperfection for his wish for independence. With the love that the child feels will deepen his self acceptance to imitate the conduct of those that loves him like the parents, their conduct will then reflect in him and he will henceforth obeys them.

The child will have a rest and act as a matured in a form he will not offend the parents if he is treated as a matured human being that possess a stature, he will then be accustomed with obedient to the parents consequently he will obey all personalities he meets from his parents or from the school or from the community.

Forthly : Doing Good to The Child and Honoring Him

The child of this stage is in need of love and appreciation from the side of the parents and in need of his recognition and his status in the family and in the society and to focus brightness on him. He will be developing at any time he perceive he is love and that the parents or the community feels of his personality and status. (To be adjustable in a good conformity, his entity will be sound and guided base as if when the child is loved and accepted, feeling of tranquility in the house).

The love and appreciations that the child perceive have a great effect in all aspect of his life, then he will be developed perfectly, linguistically, mentally, psychologically and socially. The child imitate when he likes and accept teachings, orders and advices from them. He will then learn basis of good conduct from the parents and will reflect in his habit if he feels love and appreciations from both of them (parents).

It has been stated in many narrations emphasizing the necessity of loving and honoring the child.

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Honor your children and give them good education"[^18].

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "May Allah bless a servant who help his child for his obedience by doing goods to him, harmonize with him and educates him"[^19].

He (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Parent's look at his child with love for him is a worship"[^20].

He (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Love children and have mercy on them and fulfill your promise to them whenever you promised them because they thought you provide their provisions"[^21].

Encouraging and commending children for their invention even though it is little and over looking their lapses, don't depreciate his sayings or his deeds and don't impel him more than his ability, all this are the substantial of love for them and making him to feel his status as it comes from the sayings of the Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants): "May Allah have mercy on him who assist his child for his obedience ..... He accepts his feasible and over-look his short-comings and did not oppress him nor encroach with him"[^22].

To kiss children is among the best means that makes them feels of love and kindness. The prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Increase the kissing of your children, because every kiss has a degree in the Paradise"[^23].

He (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Whoever kiss his child has done a good deed, whoever make his child happy, Allah will make him happy in the day of Resurrection ..... "[^24].

Imam Jaafar Assadiq (peace be upon him) said: "Be obedient to your parents so that your children will be in obedient to you"[^25].

Making the child to hear words of love and cordiality is among the substantial of him feeling being loved.

Thus in Narration Alhassan and Al-Hussein came proceeding to the Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) he took one of them and merge him to his armpit and the other to the other armpit and said: "These are my aroma in this world"[^26].

In order to make the child feels his societal status and enable him deepen trust in himself, the Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) has done greeting to the children and the adult as it has come in the traditions that [He has greet the children when he has passed over them] [^27]

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) has treated Alhassan and Al-Hussein with special treatment, verily [he pays homage to Al-hassan and Al-Hussein while they are young][^28].

Making child to feel love and sympathy is among the important factors that assist him in obedience and compliance to the parents.

It is better to make the child to perceive that the love is accompanying him in all places and in all conditions even when he made a mistake or committed what necessitate reproaching or punishing him. It is also better than making child to differentiate between the love for him and that he was not hated in a situation when he made a mistake or committed a sin.

DR. Sapok says: (It is incumbent for us as father not to allow the child in any stage of his life to feel of being disregarded even by mere seeing, indeed the child is not able to differentiates between the hatred from his parent due to his conduct and their hatred for him) [^29]

How ever by educating and repetition of action it will enable us to convince the child that the bad action he is committing is hateful from the side of his parents or from the side of the community but continuation of love with him. We also tried to convince him to refrain from bad actions and to make realize that in this situation the love and the sympathy will reach a higher stage.