The Child's Education in Islam

Chapter One : General Method of Training in Family Relation

The family relation has an important role to play in building the family and strengthening the relation among its members, it has effect in the growing and bringing up Childs and conveying him to the stage of independence and perfection.

The thought, psychology and affectionate atmosphere that the family creates for the child gives him the ability to take a serious form in his self, his family and his society. From this point of view, verily the child is in need of training methods to organize its mode of life. Then to urge the role, the obligatory and precise the competence to guide the effective relation while commencing the child training. The precise guides to the methods of training are as follows:-

**Firsly: Agreement on Joint Method ** The adopted method in life that is effective in ones conduct is the one that makes ones faith and internal feelings towards true behavior and change this movement to firmly established custom. Ones habit remains interacting with designated teachings and programs. Unity of method is the criterion and Measures use to elevate ones conduct in terms of far and near teachings and subjected programs.

It is then on the parent to conjoint on a collective method that will identify to both of them, the relations, role and the obligations in different angles.

The Islamic method with its stable laws is the best method necessarily to be adopted by Muslim families because it is a divine method stipulated by Allah the most High and the absolute Master on entire life and acquainted with all issues and complicatedness in life.

It is a method that is suitable with human nature, no any obscure nor ambiguity in it because there is no responsibility with in-ability. This is a point of acceptance by a Muslim and a Muslim family that all instructions and laws of conduct derived it's strengthen and efficient from Allah the most High. This peculiarity makes the family to have the certainty and affirmation right inside him by following this method. Then there is no chance to argue it's genuine or ineffectiveness.

It is enough to accomplish the felicity in the family that collaborates to give right and fair training to the child. If any disorder or lapses in relationship occurred when observes some of the roles, verily the Islamic method of teaching is there to intervene to put an end to it. The Islamic method has given general laws in dealings, relations, roles and in conduct but branches of the laws or the details of the general laws and its substantial are differs base on the changes of place and time.

It is then incumbent on the parents to concord on the details of the implementations, on laws and criterions that are firmly accepted by both of them, there is no difference in the relation between both of them or the relation between them and the children and that of the method of training that is necessary to apply with them, because difference in ways and methods of dealing with the child will lead to understandable measures and laws of conduct with the child.

The child will then try to be contended with the father one way and the mother the other way, all this leads to the child's psychological, sentimental and behavioral disorder. The children which were brought up from a home that the parents are not conjoined in training him are always in dilemma than those brought up from a conjoined trained home.[^1]

Secondly : Cordial Relations

Among the incumbent duties of the parents is to establish cordiality, stability and tranquility in the family.

The most High said: {and one of His signs is that: He created mates for you from yourselves that you might find rest in them and He ordained between you love and mercy.....}[^2]

Relation between husband and wife is cordial and kind relation. This relation pacifies the soul, calm the nerves, tranquil to the soul and comfort to the body.

Cordiality is the bonds that holds the family together and strengthen its formation and its continuity as one entity. Cordiality and blessing leads to exchange of respect and real assistance in solving difficulties and problems that occurs to the family. Cordiality is necessary in order to equilibrate the emotional feelings in the child. DR. Sapok says: (The child's personal and elementary tranquility is always in need of firm relationship with the parents and both of them (i.e. the parents) need to come together in confronting lives responsibility[^3].

It is incumbent on the husband and wife for perpetual cordiality in their relations in all stages. I.e. stages before the child birth and the preceding stages. Allah has made cordiality compulsory and perpetual cordiality will be a result to observing His call and nearness to Him.

Imam Ali bn Al-Hussein (peace be upon him) has recommended that and said: "Your Right as herdsman for what you have possess through marriage are: - to know that Allah has made her your dwelling, places of relaxation, intimacy and protector like this it is compulsory for the both of you to praise Allah for His companionship and knows that, that is a benefaction from Him on you.

It is incumbent to make good friendship with this benefaction of Allah, respect her and be kind with her even though your Right over her is heavier. Your obedience over her is compulsory on what you like and what you dislike which is not sin. Verily she owned the Right of blessing, intimacy, place of relaxation and compliance to your delectation that there is no doubt of it, though that is the most great out of all...."[^4]

Verily the Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) has focus on perpetual relations, love and intimacy in the family. Their advices directed to every men and women.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "The best among you is he who does well to his wife and I am better than you in doing goods to my wife"[^5].

Imam Jaafar Ibn Mohammad Assadiq (peace be upon him) said: "May Allah bless a servant that does well between himself and his wife" [^6]

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Whoever takes a wife should honor her"[^7].

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "Jabra'il (peace be upon him) warned me about women until I deem it is not necessary to divorce her except in case of a clear Adultery"[^8].

The sayings of the Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) and their advices in doing goods to women and honoring them is one of the factors that assist the continuation of cordiality, blessing and love.

Already the Ahlulbait (peace be upon them) has advice women that will lead to her perpetual cordiality, love and blessing if she adhere to it.

Among it is obedience to her husband.

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants)said : "If a woman prays five times daily, fast in its month, guides her private part and obeyed her husband, she will enters the Paradise from any door she wishes"

The holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "There is no benefit a man enjoys after Islam than a Muslim wife, he feels happy when glance at her, she obeyed him when he commands her, she guides herself and her husband's properties when he is absent from her"[^9].

The prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) encouraged women to adopt a good method that will lead to her perpetual cordiality and blessing by inducing the husband's heart and his emotion.

(A man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) and said: I had a wife, she received me when I enter, she escorted me when I go out, if she saw me in an anxiety she said to me what worried you? If you worried of your provision, verily other than you will take care of it, if you worried about your hereafter, may Allah increases your worries, then the prophet (peace be upon him and his descendants) said: "gives her a glad tiding of entering Paradise and said to her: verily you are one of the Allah's employee and she has rewards of seventy Martyrs to you". In another Narration, Allah the Great and Almighty has employed and she is among the employee of Allah and she has half rewards of a martyr)[^10].

Imam Mohammad Ibn Ali Al-Baqir (peace be upon him) said: "Women struggles are to possess a good husband"[^11].

Among the factors that assist in preserving cordiality, likeness and acquiring love of the husband are to be broadmindedness to him and grant all that he wanted.

Imam Jaafar bn Mohammad Assadiq (peace be upon him) said: "The best among your women is she who takes off all her shyness when alone with her husband and wear the shyness when she wears her dress"[^12].

She opened to her husband with extent of his abdomen, in other words she equilibrate between respects and unburdened.

Imam Ali bn Al-Hussein (peace be upon him) confine the factors that deepened the cordiality and love inside the family and said: "There is no sufficiency for a husband in three things that between him and his wife, they are: - to succeed in attracting her consent, love and her mind, his good conduct with her, his effort to draw her mind with good looking before her sight and his being open handed to her.

And there is no sufficiency for a wife to be successful in three things that is between her and her husband, they are: - to preserve herself from all squalor which will make him leaving trust and rest of mind in her in terms of affectionate and adversity, his reservation so that it will be affectionate on her to be with her in stumble and show him love with fascination and to beautifies herself before him"[^13].

The cordial relations, blessing and love are necessary in all stages of life especially in pregnancy and breast feeding stages because wife is in need of tranquility and emotional constancy, all that have effect on the embryo and the child in the stage of breast feeding as it will come later in our subsequent discussion.