The Codes of Training

Tongue Lashing & Impertinence

Using bad words and talking impertinently is a very bad habit. The persons who do tongue lashing at whatever passes their mind, seldom stick to their word. They are very fickle of mind. They use bad words., keep finding fault with others for no rhyme or reason. They keep causing hurt to others with their irresponsible talk.

Using bad words is Haram (taboo) and is considered a major sin. .

The Prophet of Islam has said:

Allah has forbidden Heaven to the users of foul language. There is also curse on those who abuse, are shameless and impertinent and they will all be denied entry to Paradise. .Whatever a foul mouthed person says about others, he does it thoughtlessly and never bothers about what opinion others have of him.[1]

Imam Jafar Sadiq says:

Swearing, bad-mouthing and impertinence are the

[1] Usool al-Kafi, Vol. 2, Page 323.

signs of hypocrisy (nifaaq) and faithlessness.[1]

Allah says in the Holy Quran:

Shame on all such persons who talk about the failings of others and indulge in ridiculing them.[2]

Foul-mouthed persons are generally inferior and petty minded. They make others enemies with indiscreet talk. People abhor them. They try to keep away from them and avoid their company.

The Prophet of Islam has said.:

Among people the worst is one whose talk is not liked by others and they try to avoid meeting him.[3]

Imam Jafar Sadiq says:

When people dont like to even listen to the talk of a person, his destiny will be Hell![4]

The Prophet has said:

A Momin (pious person) will not be taunting, doesnt criticizing, blaming and talking ill of others.[5]

The child by nature is not capable of bad mouthing. He may learn this from his parents, brothers, sisters and friends at school or play. But the maximum effect will be of the attitude of the parents. The parents can be the most effective example for the children. The parents not only are responsible for their own behavior but have the

[1] Usool al-Kafi,, Page 325.
[2] Hamzath-1.
[3] Usool al-Kafi, Vol. 2, Page 325.
[4] Ibid., Page 327.
[5] Al-Mahajjah al-Baydhaa, Vol. 3, Page 127.

very important responsibility of training their children properly. These are the parents alone who either make the children polite and gentle or impertinently loud mouthed. Some parents, either in jest or in anger call bad words with their children. This way they inadvertently give a wrong training to the children. There are some homes where the use of the bad words is a common practice.

Son of a dog, mother of a dog, fool, idiot, senseless donkey, animal, shameless and several others are the appellations thrown at one another in such households either in jest or right earnest anger.

The parents, whose duty it is to prevent the foibles of their children, themselves are perpetrating such wrong acts and encouraging the children to follow their example. They thoughtlessly abuse each other and call names in front of the children.

The parents taunt the children and use unethical language with them. How can such parents expect that their child will grow into a gentle and respectable adult. They should realize that the child might prove even worst than themselves.. They should remember that sooner or later they will find the child trading the same idiom that he has been hearing again and again from his parents. Then any amount of sermonizing and beatings cannot reform the child. The best remedy is that the parents reform themselves in good time before it gets too late.

Many a time the children learn this bad habit from their companions. The parents should keep their eyes and ears open to such behavior in their children and nip the defect in the bud. They should ask their children to try to avoid

meeting such children very much.

If you ever find your child uttering any abusive word, then dont just smile and keep quiet. With shouting and threats too such situations cannot be handled. This method might backfire. The best way to correct the child is to talk softly with the child and explain to him about the ill effects of using bad words.