The Islamic Family Structure
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Observing the Relations of the Womb
Those who join together those things which God hath commanded to be joined.[Holy Quran: Ra'd: 13:21]
The Quran and Visiting Relatives
Visiting relatives is one of the very good deeds that the Prophet, and the Imams have much insisted on. Mulla Husayn Fayz Persons:Mulla Husayn Fayz" , who was a great philosopher, mystic and scholar spent his life with the Glorious Quran and Prophetic traditions. He considered visiting the relatives to include going to see them, and helping the relatives with their finances or business, or helping young couples to marry. This meaning can be understood from the Quranic verses and traditions, too. The Prophet and the Imams did exactly these things when they visited their relatives, too. This act is greatly stressed in the Quran. It is done by the wise, and cutting off relations with the relatives is considered to be an act of corruption. The Quran has instructed us to fear God when interacting with our relatives, and God has mentioned relatives just after Himself
Reverence God, through Whom ye demand your mutual (rights), and (reverence) the wombs (that bore you): [Holy Quran: Nisaa: 4:1]
The wise are considered to have some traits as mentioned in the Holy Chapter Ra'd. The benefits gained in the Hereafter are being greeted and welcomed by angels.
Those who join together those things which God hath commanded to be joined.[Holy Quran: Ra'd: 13:21]
We read in the Chapter Baqara the following regarding cutting off of relations:
And who sunder what God has ordered to be joined, and do mischief on earth: These cause loss (only) to themselves.[Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:27]
Yes, cutting off relations is a cause for a great loss. There is another alarming verse in the chapter Ra'd regarding this issue:
And cut asunder those things which God has commanded to be joined, and work mischief in the land;-- on them is the Curse; for them is the terrible Home! [Holy Quran: Ra'd: 13:25]
We read in chapter Muhammad:
Then, is it to be expected of you, if ye were put in authority, that ye will do mischief in the land, and break your ties of kith and kin? [Holy Quran: Muhammad: 47:22]
So we see that visiting relatives is so important that it yields prosperity and the greeting and welcoming of man by angels in the Hereafter. And the cutting off of relations with relatives will result in damnation, a bad ending and not being saved. Respectfully helping the relatives with their financial problems is highly rewarding.
And the likeness of those who spend their substance, seeking to please God and to strengthen their souls, is as a garden, high and fertile: heavy rain falls on it but makes it yield a double increase of harvest, and if it receives not heavy rain, light moisture sufficeth it. God seeth well whatever ye do. [Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:265] If ye disclose (acts of) charity, even so it is well, but if ye conceal them, and make them reach those (really) in need, that is best for you: It will remove from you some of your (stains of) evil. And God is well acquainted with what ye do. [Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:271] Those who (in charity) spend of their goods by night and by day, in secret and in public, have their reward with their Lord: on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.[Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:274]
A Good Plan
Let’s invite all our relatives, and recite to the rich ones the verses and traditions on visiting and helping relatives and ask each one of them to donate some money regularly. Then we can open an account or give the money to a trustworthy member of the family. If a problem arises for a poor relative, we can respectfully give him a loan or a donation. Then he can use the money to buy a house, some needed furniture, a trousseau for his daughter or pay for marrying off his son. This is a very good act, it helps a lot of people and is highly rewarding as stated before. Let’s try to describe this plan to others and encourage them to implement it. If this is widely implemented in the country, then a heavy burden is lifted off of the government's budget, and the assisting relatives get a great reward. In the Quranic verses on charity, helping the relatives has the highest priority. Then the orphans, the disabled, the poor, and the bankrupt are mentioned.
To spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans. [Holy Quran: Baqara: 2:177]
An Amazing Story
Saduq has narrated Imam Sadiq as having said the following based on an authentic document:
Jonah Persons:Jonah" was supplicating and praying inside the stomach of a fish. His voice was delivered to Korah Persons:Korah" 's soul which was undergoing God's Punishment at the time of
an eclipse. He asked whose voice it was. The Angel of Punishment said that it was the voice of one of the Israelite Prophets. He requested permission to have a brief talk with him. Permission was granted. He asked about Aaron Persons:Aaron" and Moses :Moses" . Then Jonah ;Persons:Jonah" replied that they had both perished and he was living at a different time. Then Korah Persons:Korah" cried. God said His Punishment should be reduced due to feeling sorry for his relatives.
Traditions About Visiting Relatives
The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
Help your relatives, even if you give them a drink of water. The best form of helping relatives is not to bother them. [Bihar al-Anwar Books:Bihar al-Anwar" , v.74, p.103].
The relatives' feelings get injured when they are ignored or belittled. That is why the best form of helping relatives is not to injure their feelings. He also said: Visit your relatives in this world even if you just say hello. [Bihar al-Anwar , v.74, p.104]
The Prophet (Pbuh) has been narrated as saying: Walk one year to visit your relatives. He also has said the following in an important tradition: To the society at this time and the times to come, and those who are in their father's loin or their mother's womb, I advise you all to visit your relatives even if it takes a whole year. Indeed visiting your relatives is a part of your religion. [Ibid].
There are many important traditions which outline the benefits of visiting relatives. [Bihar al-Anwar , v.74, pp.111-126]. We will cite a few of these traditions here. Imam Baqir said:
Visiting relatives will purify your deeds, increase your wealth, remove any catastrophes, and delay the time of your death.
Imam Sadiq said:
Visiting relatives and doing good deeds will ease the accounting for our deeds in the Hereafter, and will protect us from committing sins. Then visit your relatives and be kind with your brethren, even if it is just limited to warm greetings.
The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
Visiting relatives will prolong your life and eliminate poverty. Visiting relatives will expand towns, and prolong the lives, even if those you visit are not good people. God shall grant the reward of one hundred martyrs to the one who visits his relatives and helps them with his life and property. For each step that you take to visit your relatives, God will record four thousand good deeds, and remove four thousand evil deeds, and provide four thousand raises in your status. It is just as if you have sincerely worshipped God for one-hundred years.
The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
There is a heavenly status that only those who are just leaders, visit their relatives, or patiently take care of their wife and children shall attain. He
told Abuzar Persons:Abuzar" to go to visit his relatives, even if they go mad when seeing him. He said if they did not accept you, go again. Finally you will succeed. If they do not follow God's orders, don't follow suit.
A man told the Prophet (Pbuh) that he visited his relatives, but some of them bothered him, and he wanted to cut off his relations with them. The Prophet (Pbuh) told him that if he did that, God would abandon all of them. He asked what he should do. The Prophet (Pbuh) told him to visit those who cut off their relations, and forgive those who mistreated him. Then God will raise him higher in status over them.
Traditions About Cutting Off Relations
Abu Basir has narrated that when he asked Imam Sadiq about someone who wished to cut off his relations from those who oppose the Imam, the Imam replied this was not right. [Bihar al-Anwar , v.75, p.185].
Jahm, the son of Hamid said that he told Imam Sadiq the following: I have relatives who follow other religions. Do they have any rights over me? The Imam replied: Nothing can nullify the rights of relatives. If they were Muslim, then they had two rights: First being a relative and the second being a Muslim. [Bihar al-Anwar , v.74, p.131].
Imam Baqir said:
I found the following in the Prophet's book (the Quran): When the people cut off their ties from their relatives, the wicked people get a hold of their property.[Bihar al-Anwr, v.73, p.369.]
The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
Three groups of people will not enter Heaven: alcoholics, those who believe in magic, and those who cut off their ties from their relatives. [Bihar al-Anwar , v.74, p.90]
The Commander of the Faithful said:
I seek refuge with God from sins which hasten death.
He was asked whether there existed sins that bring on death faster. He replied:
Yes. Woe to you! It is the sin of cutting off relations from your relatives. [Bihar al-Anwar , v.74, p.137]
He also said:
The worst of all sins are the cutting off of relations with relatives and being damned by parents. [Mizan al-Hikmat , v.4, p.89].
The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
God’s Mercy shall not be bestowed upon a nation in which these are some who cut off relations with their relatives. [Ibid]
The Prophet (Pbuh) said:
The angels will not descend upon those people among whom these are ones who cut off relations with their relatives. [Mizan al-Hikmat Books:Mizan al-Hikmat" , v.4, p.89].
Mutevakel's son told Imam Hadi that his father deserved to be killed and asked for permission to do so. He was asked not to do so since he was his son. He was also warned that should he do so, he will not stay alive for more than six months.