Children in the Qur’an and Sunnah

Chapter 2: The Children’s Duties towards their Parents

2.1: The Importance of the Rights of Parents

“And We have enjoined on man goodness unto his parents; and if they strive with you that you should associate (others) with Me, of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them, unto Me is your return, and I will inform you of what you were doing.”[^1]

“And We have enjoined on men doing of good to his parents, with trouble did his mother bear him and with trouble did she bring him forth; and the bearing of him and the weaning of him was thirty months; until when he attains his maturity and reaches forty years, he says: ‘My Lord! Grant me that I may give thanks for Your favour which You have bestowed on me and on my parents, and that I may do good which pleases You and do good to me in respect of my offspring; surely I turn to You, and surely I am of those who submit.”[^2]

“And We did enjoin upon man concerning his parents, did his mother bear him with fainting upon fainting and his weaning takes two years, (saying:)’Be grateful to Me and to your parents: unto Me is the ultimate return (of all).”[^3]

423. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said, when he was sked about the rights of the parents upon their child: “They are your Heaven and your Hell.”[^4]

424. Sahih al-Bukhari, narrating from ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud who said: “I asked the Prophet (s.a.w.): “What is Allah’s most beloved act?”

He answered: “Performing prayers at its due time.”

I said: “What else?”

He said: “Obedience to parents.”[^5]

425. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “The content of the Lord lies in the content of father and the wrath of the Lord is in the wrath of the father.”[^6]

426. Imam al-Sajjad said, from his supplication to his parents: “O Allah! Make me fear them like one’s fear of a tyrant king, and that I do good to them like the goodness of a kind mother, and make my obedience to my parents and my kindness to them sweeter for my eyes than sleepy eyes, and cooler for my breast than the drink of a thirsty person so that I put their desire ahead of mine.”[^7]

427. Imam al-Baqir (a.s.) said: “There are three things in which Allah has not given anyone permission to violate: returning a trust to the righteous person and the corrupt, fulfilling a promise given to both the righteous person and the corrupt, and obedience to parents whether they are righteous or corrupt.”[^8]

428. Imam al-Ridha (a.s.) said: “Indeed Allah…has commanded to thank the Lord and the parents. So, he who is not thankful to his parents is not thankful to Allah.”[^9]

.423رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله- لَمّا سُئِلَ عَن حَقِّ الوالِدَينِ

.424صحيح البخاري عن عبد الله: سَأَلتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وآله:

.425رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: رِضَا الرَّبِّ في رِضَا الوالِدِ،

.426الإمام زين العابدين عليه السلام- مِن دُعائِهِ لِأَبوَيهِ-

.427الإمام الباقر عليه السلام: ثَلاثٌ لَم يَجعَلِ اللهُ عزّ وجل

428. الإمام الرضا عليه السلام: إنَّ اللهَ عزّ وجل ... أمَرَ بِالشُّكرِ

2.2: The Rights of Parents

A) Doing Good

“And your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him and (to show) kindness to parents, if one of them or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them ‘fie’, nor repulse them, and speak to them a gracious word. And out of compassion, lower unto them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they cherished me when I was little.”[^10]

“And (He has made me) kind to my mother, and He has not made me arrogant unblessed. And peace be on me the day I was born, and the day I die, and the day I shall be raised alive.”[^11]

Describing Yahya:

“And kindness to his parents and (unto the people) he was neither insolent (nor) disobedient. And peace on him the day he was born, and the day he dies, and the day he shall be raised a live!”[^12]

429. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said, in concerning Allah’s saying: “… And (to show) kindness to parents, …”: Showing kindness is that you be good company for them and that you should not make them ask you for something they need from you even if they are rich.”[^13] [^14]

430. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Showing kindness to parents is the greatest obligation.”[^15]

431. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Showing kindness to parents is the most exalted of qualities.”[^16]

.429الإمام الصادق عليه السلام- في قَولِهِ تَعالى: (وَ بِالْوالِدَيْنِ

.430الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: بِرُّ الوالِدَينِ أكبَرُ فَريضَةٍ.

.431عنه عليه السلام: بِرُّ الوالِدَينِ مِن أكرَمِ الطَّبائِعِ.

B) Standing up to Show Reverence

432. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “Stand up for your father and your teacher, even if you are a commander.”[^17]

.432الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: قُم عَن مَجلِسِكَ لِأَبيكَ ومُعَلِّمِكَ

C) Submissiveness at the Time of Anger

433. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Among the rights of a father upon his child is that the child should be submissive to him at the time of anger and exhaustion.”[^18]

.433رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: مِن حَقِّ الوالِدِ على وَلَدِهِ أن

D) Avoiding Disobedience

434. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said, regarding Allah’s saying “…if one of them or both of them reach old age with you…”: “If they annoy you, do not show your inconvenience and if they were to hit you, do not shout at them and be harsh at them.”[^19]

435. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said: “The lowest degree of disobedience [to parents] is to say ‘fie’, and if Allah had anything of a word less than this, He would have prohibited it.”[^20]

436. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said, regarding Allah’s saying “And out of compassion, lower unto them the wing of humility…”: “Do not use your eyes in looking at them other with a glance of compassion and sympathy to them, do not raise your voice louder than their voice, do not extend your hand higher than their hands, and do not precede them in steps.”[^21]

437. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said, regarding Allah’s saying “…and speak to them a gracious word.”: “If they were to hit you, say to them: ‘May Allah forgive you!”[^22]

438. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “It will be said to he who is disobedient to his parents: “Worship as much as you desire, but I will not forgive you.”[^23]

439. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “He who makes his parents unhappy has surely disobeyed them.”[^24]

440. Sahih Muslim, narrating from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As who said: “The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said: “Among the major sins is swearing at one’s own parents.”

Some people said: “O Messenger of Allah! Can someone really swear at his own parents?”

He answered: “Yes, in a manner that someone swears at another person’s father, and so he swears back at his father, or someone swears at another person’s mother, and he swears back at his mother.”[^25]

441. Imam al-Baqir (a.s.) said: “My father saw a man whose son was walking with him and the son was leaning on his father’s arm. My father being annoyed of the son did not speak to him until he left this world.”[^26]

442. Imam al-’Askari (a.s.) said: “The boldness of a child in his childhood against his father will invite to his disobedience in his adult age.”[^27]

.434الإمام الصادق عليه السلام- في قَولِهِ تَعالى: (إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ

.435عنه عليه السلام: أدنَى العُقوقِ: «افٍّ»، ولَو عَلِمَ اللهُ شَيئاً

.436عنه عليه السلام- في قَولِهِ تَعالى: (وَ اخْفِضْ لَهُما جَناحَ

.437عنه عليه السلام- في قَولِهِ تَعالى: (وَ قُلْ لَهُما قَوْلًا

.438رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: يُقالُ لِلعاقِّ: اعمَل ما شِئتَ مِنَ

.439عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن أحزَنَ والِدَيهِ فَقَد عَقَّهُما.

.440صحيح مسلم عن عبد الله بن عمرو بن العاص: أنَّ رَسولَ اللهِ صلى الله

.441الإمام الباقر عليه السلام: إنَّ أبي نَظَرَ إلى رَجُلٍ ومَعَهُ

442. الإمام العسكريّ عليه السلام: جُرأَةُ الوَلَدِ عَلى والِدِهِ في

2.3: General Rights of Parents

443. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said, when asked about the rights of parents upon their child: “He should not call his father by his name; he should not walk in front of him; he should not sit before him; and he should not be the cause of his father getting sworn at.”[^28]

444. Imam ‘Ali (a.s.) said: “There is a right for the child upon his father and there is a right for the father upon the child. The right of the father upon the child is that the child obeys him in everything other than sinning Allah.”[^29]

445. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said: “Parents have three rights upon their child: to be grateful to the parents in any condition, to obey them in whatever they order him or prohibit him except sinning Allah, and in seeking benevolence for them in secret and publically.”[^30]

.443رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله- لَمّا سُئِلَ عَن حَقِّ الوالِدِ عَلى

.444الإمام عليّ عليه السلام: إنَّ لِلوَلَدِ عَلَى الوالِدِ حَقّاً،

.445الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: يَجِبُ لِلوالِدَينِ عَلَى الوَلَدِ

2.4: The Benefits of Doing Good to Parents

446. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “He who wishes to prolong his lifespan and increase his sustenance should do good his parents and keep ties with his kin.”[^31]

447. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “The master of the righteous on Judgment Day is he who does good to his parents after their death.”[^32]

448. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: “Blissful is he who does good to his parents, and Allah will increase his lifespan.”[^33]

449. Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) said: “Do good to your parents so that your children will do good to you.”[^34]

.446رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن سَرَّهُ أن يُمَدَّ لَهُ في

.447عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: سَيِّدُ الأبرارِ يَومَ القِيامَةِ رَجُلٌ

.448عنه صلى الله عليه وآله: مَن بَرَّ والِدَيهِ طوبى‏ لَهُ، زادَ اللهُ

.449الإمام الصادق عليه السلام: بَرُّوا آباءَكُم؛ يَبَرَّكُم أبناؤُكُم.

[^1]: . Qur’an, 29:8.

[^2]: . Qur’an, 46:15.

[^3]: . Qur’an, 31:14.

[^4]: . Sunan Ibn Majah, vol. 2, p. 1208, h. 3662, narrating from Abu Umamah. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 463, h. 45453, narrating from it.

[^5]: . Sahih al-Bukhari, vol. 1, p. 197, h. 504. Sahih Muslim, vol. 1, p. 90, h. 139 and p. 89, h. 137, with ‘the best’ instead of ‘most beloved’. Both narrating from ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud.

[^6]: . Sunan al-Tirmidhi, vol. 4, p. 311, h. 1899. al-Mustadrak ‘ala al-Sahihain, vol. 4, p. 168, h. 7249. Both narrating from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr.

[^7]: . al-Sahifah Sajjadiyah, p. 102, Supplication 24.

[^8]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 162, h. 15, narrating from ‘Anbasah ibn Mus’ab, and vol. 5, p. 132, h. 1. Tahdhib al-Ahkam, vol. 6, p. 350, h. 988, with ‘there is no excuse for anyone in it’ instead of ‘has not given…permission’. Both narrating from al-Husayn ibn Mus’ab al-Hamadani from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.).

[^9]: . al-Khisal, p. 156, h. 196. ‘Uyun Akhbar al-Ridha (a.s.), vol. 1, p. 258, h. 13. Both narrating from al-Dilhath.

[^10]: . Qur’an, 17:23-24.

[^11]: . Qur’an, 19:32-33.

[^12]: . Qur’an, 19:14-15.

[^13]: . It means that you should provide them what they need before they ask.

[^14]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 157, h. 1, narrating from Abu Wallad al-Hannat. Mishkat al-Anwar, p. 282, h. 854.

[^15]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 4423. ‘Uyun al-Hikam wa al-Mawa’iz, p. 195, h. 3982.

[^16]: . Dastur Ma’alim al-Hikam, p. 23. Tuhaf al-’Uqul, p. 85, with ‘the virtue of the nature [of a person]’ insead of ‘the most exalted of qualities’. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 77, p. 212, h. 1.

[^17]: . Ghurar al-Hikam, h. 2341.

[^18]: . Tarikh Madinah al-Munawarah, vol. 2, p. 568, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbas. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 473, h. 45512, narrating from Tarikh Dimashq.

[^19]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 158, h. 1. Kitab Man la Yahdarhu al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 408, h. 5883. Both narrating from Abu Wallad al-Hannat

[^20]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 348, h. 1, narrating from Hadid ibn Hakim. ‘Uyun Akhbar al-Ridha (a.s.), vol. 2, p. 44, h. 160, narrating from Dawud ibn Sulayman al-Farra’ from Imam al-Ridha (a.s.) from his forefathers (a.s.).

[^21]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 158, h. 1. Kitab Man la Yahdarhu al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 408, h. 5883. Both narrating from Abu Wallad al-Hannat

[^22]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 158, h. 1. Kitab Man la Yahdarhu al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 408, h. 5883. Both narrating from Abu Wallad al-Hannat

[^23]: . Hilyah al-Awliya’, vol. 10, p. 216, narrating from ‘A’ishah. Rawdah al-Wa’izin, p. 403.

[^24]: . Kitab Man la Yahdarhu al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 372, h. 5762, narrating from Hammad ibn ‘Amr and ‘Anas ibn Muhammad from his father from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) from his forefathers (a.s.). al-Khisal, p. 621, h. 10, narrating from Abu Basir and Muhammad ibn Muslim from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) from his forefathers (a.s.) from Imam ‘Ali (a.s.).

[^25]: . Sahih Muslim, vol. 1, p. 92, h. 146. al-Sunan al-Kubra, vol. 10, p. 397, h. 21086.

[^26]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 349, h. 8, narrating from ‘Abdullah ibn Sulayman. Mishkat al-Anwar, p. 285, h. 862, narrating from ‘Abdullah ibn Muskan, without ‘was walking’.

[^27]: . Tuhaf al-’Uqul, p. 489.

[^28]: . al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 158, h. 5, narrating from Durust ibn Abu Mansur. Mishkat al-Anwar, p. 277, h. 833. Both narrating from Imam al-Kazim (a.s.).

[^29]: . Nahj al-Balaghah, Wise Saying 399.

[^30]: . Tuhaf al-’Uqul, p. 322. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 78, p. 236, h. 67.

[^31]: . Musnad Ibn Hanbal, vol. 4, p. 530, h. 13812 and p. 458, h. 13400. Makarim al-Akhlaq by Ibn Abu al-Dunya, p. 178, h. 244, with ‘he who loves’ instead of ‘he who wishes’. All narrating from ‘Anas.

[^32]: . Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 74, p. 86, h. 100, narrating from the book al-Imamah wa al-Tabsirah from al-Sakuni from Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) from his forefathers (a.s.).

[^33]: . al-Adab al-Mufrad, p. 20, h. 22. al-Mustadrak ‘ala al-Sahihain, vol. 4, p. 170, h. 7257. Both narrating from Ma’Ádh.

[^34]: . al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 554, h. 5, narrating from ‘Ubaid ibn Zurarah. Kitab Man la Yahdarhu al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 21, h. 4985.